Remarrying Your Ex

by James Walsh - Date: 2007-07-01 - Word Count: 782 Share This!

Most of the divorced individuals would hesitate even to think of it for a while. They straightaway reject the option by saying that they do not have that much kindness to forgive the past. They feel it as a waste of time and that their energy could be spent on creating a new relationship and new love with someone else. However, some other people would feel the affection for their partner only in their absence. They might not have realised what they had so far, till it vanished. Divorce might not be an obstacle for them to get together. Rather than dwelling on the past, they will focus on the future with expectations by forgetting the past bitterness. Society accepts either way. Let us analyse the pros and cons involved in remarrying the former partner.

Before persons are proceeding ahead for a rematch with the same player, they should be capable of removing all blots of distresses and hatred caused by them earlier. The persons should have the feeling that they cannot get on with life without the other person. If they love their former partners even after the trauma caused by them and if they feel that they miss them, then trust and forgiveness should be rebuilt on both the sides. Period of separation would definitely have a strong influence on both the parties. That period would allow them to rethink of each other. When the person is no more with them, the loneliness might kindle the thoughts about their ex. They might regret their decision of seeking divorce. In those cases, especially when both the persons are in the same wavelength, then, remarriage can be thought of.

There are ample precedents for the cases of people who had divorced and decided to get back together again. There might be a variety of reasons such as having children, traditional or religious compulsions, taxes or handling property and bills for their remarriage. It is not difficult to restore the marital life after a divorce. As a matter of fact, it can be done any number of times. However, one should be very much sure that the rejoining will definitely help them in a positive way and their relationship will continue for a long time. They both should sit down and discuss the reasons which caused the divorce between them. They should figure out solutions for those problems. They both should be sure that they are now compatible and manageable.

One of the major mistakes which most of the remarried couples commit is that they would forget why they had divorced. Owing to emotional disturbances and loneliness they would like to get together again. Unfortunately, very soon they will rediscover that nothing has changed between them. A mistake should not be committed twice. Wise people always learn from others' mistakes and ordinary people too should have the capacity to learn from their mistakes rather than repeating the same.

We can quote many precedents even from a list of celebrities who had remarried and redivorced. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton met on the sets of Cleopatra and they got married in 1964. They both were together for nearly 10 years and the most popular duo that travelled all over the world was the cynosure of all the eyes. They were the world's best-known celebrity couple. Though their separation hit the headlines all over the world, they remarried and also redivorced in 1976.

Melanie Griffith, a veteran actress, was married to Don Johnson in 1976 and, after thirteen years of gap, she got remarried to Johnson, but divorced again in 1996.

Rap star Eminem and Kimberly Mathers were first married in 1999 and, after two years of married life, they got divorced. At the time of their split there was a huge battle over the custodial issue of their daughter Hailie. However, after seven years, they got remarried but, as a sudden twist, they got divorced, but the only difference is that, for the second time, their married life lasted just three months.

These precedents have proved that remarriages are not worth attempting without analysing the past mistakes and rectifying them. The remarriage would not be considered a new marriage; rather it is like resuming the old marriage. Not many people are favouring the remarriage as per statistics provided by various research institutes, but a very few never fail to attempt it. The sincere advice to those couples is- do not rush into the relationship. Be patient and only if you have cent percent confidence, resume the relationship; otherwise you might regret the decisions taken in the sway of emotions.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see

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