Nathan Gist

What's the most fun you've ever had in your life? What were you doing? Who were you with? What were the elements that came together that made for such fun?

I'd be willing to bet that it didn't involve being a perfect version of something you're not.

Instead, I'd guess you had the most fun in your life when you've been free to be exactly who you are…and when someone else was with you who completely accepted that.

So how does that apply to your wedding? Surprise! A wedding should be fun! Of course, there are solemn moments, even sacred moments. But if you're allowed to be who you are, the process from preparation to completion is going to be enjoyable, even fun!

How does that work? Figure out what you like to do and do plenty of it with regard to your wedding!

If you're a person who absolutely loves details, then pile them on! The more details you plan, the happier you'll be. One wedding had hundreds of intricate details and was months in the making. The bride had everything from handmade streams of crystals which decorated the chairs, to bridesmaid's shoes that matched the tablecloths. She loved it! She adored the countless meetings with caterers, florists, musicians and dressmakers. Every step fit with her personality and her budget. She didn't experience a moment of stress, and she was a relaxed and radiant bride.

If the thought of all that makes you feel like you're facing a mountain, then get rid of it! Go for the simplest wedding you can imagine. Pick your dress off the rack, keep your ceremony brief, and use flowers in season. One of the most beautiful weddings included the bride in an unadorned white sheath carrying a single sunflower.

Do you take joy in creating things yourself? Make your dress, create your own table decorations, cook the food. Grab some flowers from your garden, or the local florist and wrap them up in simple ribbon. Just make sure you budget enough time to do what you choose to do.

Another couple adored visiting Scotland. Their wedding took place outdoors. He wore a kilt, and she a medieval-style dress her sister had made. They rode across a meadow on horseback to the tune of bagpipers. They all had such fun! Once again, the bride was relaxed and radiant.

Are you an extrovert who loves a big party? Look back and use the elements you loved from the parties you've given in the past. Do you love formality? Then use it. Informality? Go with that.

One of the biggest mistakes brides make, and it's a very common mistake, is to try to copy someone else's wedding. Whether it's a friend's wedding, a celebrity's, or something out of a magazine, don't copy anyone else. There's nothing wrong with getting ideas from other people. Just make sure those ideas fit with who you are, and creating them fits with what you like to do.

If preparing for the wedding isn't fun, the marriage may not be either!

So the message here is this: make sure you keep your own power. Don't give it away to magazines, illusions, other people or an unrealistic fantasy.

Your wedding day should culminate in a feeling of radiant joy. In order for that to happen, a lot of things need to be done- both on the inside and on the outside.

• You will need to look at why you're having a wedding.

• You'll need to understand who it is you're trying to be perfect for.

• You'll need to close the gap between your ideal of perfection and who you really are.

• You'll need to communicate with your groom and choose a wedding and reception that reflect who you are, not someone else's vision about who you should be.

• You'll need to employ a Stop, Look and Listen technique along the way.

• You'll need to learn how to recognize stress, and what to do about it.

• You'll need to hold fast to your own dream, no matter what challenges come up!