Grief and Loss: The Secret to Surviving Life's Unexpected Storms

by Dianna Hobbs - Date: 2006-12-16 - Word Count: 725 Share This!

PHASE I: Acknowledge It
If you bury an issue without dealing with it, it will eventually resurrect itself in some form.

Hiding from the pain will never make it go away. Instead, it only prolongs the process of healing. If you have ever experienced significant loss, or even severe abuse in some form, then you know that there is an initial shock phase where the occurrence seems surreal. This is normal initially, but then there comes a time when you have to acknowledge what has occurred, before you can ever move toward the road to recovery. It seems easier to remain in denial, but in the long run, painful memories will resurface and demand to be dealt with. As difficult as it may be, acknowledge what has happened, as well as the pain that is attached to it.

PHASE II: Mourn It
When you allow yourself to grieve, then the pain will gradually leave.

After you acknowledge what has happened, you then move on to the grieving phase. I cannot stress enough the importance of allowing yourself time to grieve. It is a perfectly natural, healthy and essential process for physical, mental and spiritual healing. Many individuals do not like to talk or think about this, but mourning actually frees you. It helps you to lighten your emotional load, so that you can move on without all of the hidden barriers that subconsciously affect you. Mourning is a lot like a scab that covers a wound to aid the healing process. The scab, as unattractive as it is, literally nurtures you back to health if you don't pick at it. Once it falls off, the pain that went along with the injury is no longer there. Let the grieving process do its work and one day, you will recount the past and how difficult it was at the time, but the pain won't be there anymore.

PHASE III: Accept It
Though you cannot change what happened, you can choose how you respond to it.

This is the point where you realize that there is nothing you can do to change the past, but you can indeed change the future. Acceptance is powerful because it forces you to face your fears and yet move forward. You begin to ask "what are the next steps that I must take in dealing with this situation?" From the moment you ask this question, you automatically begin looking toward the future- the only thing you can control. You must become resolved to face and endure the journey ahead, however uncertain it may be. I know that you will not have all of the answers and I am not promising you that it will be easy. I am confident, however, that if you remain strong enough to put one foot in front of the other, you will discover endless possibilities you never knew existed.

PHASE IV: Reconstruct
Don't just settle for survival. Recommit, refocus and reconstruct your vision for your life.

Once you begin discovering and exploring the limitless possibilities that life has to offer, you are empowered to change your life for the better. With every loss in my life, I realize that I have gained something valuable from each experience. Whether it be a new perspective, new relationships or new opportunities; my life has in some way improved as a result of these changes. Let me warn you though, the reconstruction phase has its moments of uncertainty and you will sometimes feel afraid to move forward. There will even be times when you will question whether or not you are doing the right thing. Push past your fear and keep moving! Rebuild your life on a foundation full of faith and optimism and be determined to pursue the dreams that have been lying dormant inside you. Here is some good news. Once you make it to the reconstruction phase, you have already survived the toughest part. Just know that during the other phases of the journey, you were building up more strength, tenacity and resilience than you ever thought possible!


None of us can accurately predict which way the winds of life will blow, but we can be equipped to come through the storm in tact. I know that life challenges all of us, but you know the old saying: "Whatever doesn't kill you…" You guessed it, "it makes you stronger!" Here's to stronger days ahead!

Related Tags: self improvement, loss, inspiration, grief

Dianna Hobbs is Vice President of Hobbs Ministries, a Christian Copywriting and PR Firm. The company helps ministries to develop, enhance, and maximize the potential of their marketing materials by leveraging the creative power of words. To learn more, visit

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