Emotional Independence - Dependance

by Atul Bahl - Date: 2006-12-27 - Word Count: 420 Share This!

You are down in the dumps and looking around you find no one to talk to, leave alone a shoulder to cry on … what to do? It starts with you cursing your luck followed by cursing your friends … seems the most appropriate thing to do … had you not been unfortunate (luck factor) you would not have been in this position today … and the friends' need to be cursed because their absence defies the core concept of the term called friends. But hang on… Lets go a step backwards and analyse - I won't start by analyzing how you got yourself into this position … anyone with a sane mind would not like to get himself into any unfortunate position.

I would suggest to analyse that why are you dependent on your friends when you have all the resources within your self to cater to your emotional needs - by being dependent on your friends, you are just making yourself dependent on them for your emotional well being … why so? You would say that I need a listening ear … ever tried talking to yourself ? I say this because you and only you know exactly what you desire … talking to someone else would entail explaining why you desire things to be the way you want them to be or why you desire a thing or a person … I don't agree with this need to explain because you are the master of your ownself … why become a slave dependent upon others for your emotional well being. When you talk to yourself, and don't feel hesitant to talk aloud, you unconsciously send very strong signals to your subconscious mind about what you exactly want and desire- I would like to add further that the subconscious mind is actually much more strong and potent than our conscious self.

For ex: you have been through a divorce and find no one around you - you can either look around and curse at everything in this world … which would actually be sending negative signals to your subconscious mind. Or you can talk yourself into looking for a new partner, a new relation, or pursue interests which you always wanted but were unable to … sending positive signals to your subconscious. Our subconscious would then direct our conscious self to look for opportunities for the things we are looking for. If we keep on feeding positive thoughts to our subconscious, it will generate more and more positive opportunities by helping us observe situations which we might have even ignored before. Sounds strange … try it !!

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