Growing Through Grief

by Maurice Turmel - Date: 2006-12-07 - Word Count: 1059 Share This!

Let's begin by taking you on a journey through Time. Time is like the envelope for your life. Your Life is the letter. You place yourself inside of Time and you mail yourself to God. Along the way you forget where you are going. Events on the path remind you, but the messages often appear fragmented and unclear.

Periodically you have a breakthrough, a strong reminder that your target again is God. He is your goal and your mainstay. He is the reason Life abounds. In death He lives on, as do we. This Spirit is indomitable, here to stay, here to manage for yet another day, year or century.

Your letter is opened at the end. What does it say? "Did it my way?" "Learned to love?" "Richer for the experience?" "Tough road, but worth it?" How about those "losses," how did you handle those? "Bravely" you might say. "Not so well" could be another answer. How about "poorly," or "wasn't able to deal with the feelings." That would be sad, wouldn't it?

Then let's prepare, shall we. Let's do what we can to tackle Life's events to keep our letter on the straight and narrow, to hit our target as we believe we could. Let's learn all we can from Life and give back our very best. Then, when we're asked: "How did it go?" We can say "splendidly." "Yes indeed, I did my very best, and it was good." "All the way, I went all the way." Yes, that's the way to celebrate a lifetime. Once that letter is opened at the end, we want to say: "Hi there, God, did You miss me?" "I had a good one that time, even learned how to deal with Grief." And God will of course smile. He knew you had it in you and He looked forward to the mail every day.

Here's how it might look to Him. A person struggles with their life dilemmas and learns their lessons. They arrive at His doorstep with much wisdom as a result. That benefits both Him and the individual concerned because God loves to grow too. Remember, we are created in His Image. Our thoughts are His thoughts. Our goals are His as well. If we enjoy growing through our life experiences then that has to be true for Him also.

We all grow when we take on our sorrows. These are especially hard on us. But they take us deeper into the experience of Life. And we are richer for the work and effort. Yes, we gain much along the way. Our letter arrives stuffed fuller than when we set out, with worthy experiences that testify to our growth.

The stories and reflections in this book are about "growing." They are about facing up to our "losses." As difficult as these are, they are opportunities for growth. No, we might not choose this method of schooling, but it remains an essential aspect of Life. We will all pass there one day. Each of us is likely to say "goodbye" many times before our own final goodbye comes along. This is an experience shared by us all. No one is spared any part of it.

We learn from experience and we grow as a result. Each aspect of Life's bittersweet journey gives us another morsel to chew on. How we do that is up to us. Today there is no reason to face the challenge of a loss by yourself, or to tough it out silently. There is no such thing as a person who stands alone. We are all interdependent and, at such times, we need each other more desperately than we may be willing to admit.

When it comes to dealing with grief and loss, our need is even higher. It is at the tragic moments in Life that our hearts need to reach out for tenderness. But sadly, we often retreat instead in a desperate attempt to avoid the pain ahead. All of our various addictions can come into play here. But this pain doesn't go away so easily. It keeps pressing for attention and clamoring for solace till we let go of our defenses and reach for what we need. That's when Hope returns, because a broken heart is ready for mending. An injured Soul has chosen to reach out to others and embrace those kindnesses that are pouring their way, as is always the case for individuals and families in grief. Each one of us must wage this battle for ourselves. But we are all surrounded by love, so bountiful it spills over after we've filled ourselves to bursting.

It isn't so hard to find such Love, only to "receive" it. That's the trick you see. When you let someone hold you, when you speak about what's in your heart, when you share your loss and your grieving journey, you are guaranteed a full recovery. It's not what happens to us that causes the greatest harm, it's what we "don't" do about it. All of us need love, caring and attention. All of us need to be heard and understood. All of us need these in greater quantity when we are faced with a loss. That's when our hearts ache the most and when we "need" to be "more receptive" to help.

Like the stories and reflections in this book, help comes in all shapes and sizes. Choose what is best for you, but choose. For in your agreement to "receive" you will be vastly rewarded. Your lost loved one will have brought to you the experience that Love does indeed reign and you can fill your cup as often as necessary. You need never do without, if you so choose.

So when God receives You in your letter, at your final goodbye, He will note that you filled your cup quite often, that you were sadder but richer for the experience of loss and that you did indeed grow. Of that He will be especially proud, and so will you.

The rewards of the heart are plentiful. In loss we can learn to gain; in richness we can learn humility for the gifts of the Universe are plenty and, in particular, the gift of Love is endless. Let these stories and reflections help you on your "healing journey" and let the Love of the Universe wash over you and comfort you during this trying time.

Related Tags: motivation, loss, recovery, healing, spirituality, inspiration, self-improvement, self-help, grief

Maurice Turmel PHD is a Spiritual & Personal Growth Author and Songwriter. He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years. He is the author of the "The Voice," a Spiritual Sci-Fi novel. His music music can be found at He blogs at: His website:, and he can be reached at:

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