But They Mean Well
This is a much different world than it was a generation ago. Back then, people were more polite, most offices had doors and were not cubicles, and people did not take it for granted that they were not interrupting you, but automatically assumed that they were. What's changed? Technology has paved the way for this erosion of boundaries with pagers, e-mail, and cell phones accessibility has come to be expected. Unfortunately people have also come to stop respecting boundaries.
Belinda had just walked in the house when her cell phone rang. It was her sister asking her to fill in for her at her catering job. Belinda had filled in for Sue previously so she knew the work, but she was tired, having just completed her twelve hour shift at the hospital. She tried to convey this to her sister, but Sue being Sue, just assumed that the answer would be yes, and just continued with the details without waiting for an answer. Belinda was hurt and rather angry at Sue, but she hid her feelings and let out a rather long sigh as she went upstairs to change her clothes for her second work shift of the day. Toby was sitting in his living room watching the game when Fred burst in. He looked up a bit startled at the interruption, but when he saw who it was he was unsurprised at the intrusion. He and Fred had been friends since they were three years old, so Fred had been walking into his house ever since he could remember. He was very happy that Suzie wasn't home because she looked at Fred's familiarity as rude and it was often the cause of some of their rare arguments. Toby could see her point, but he didn't have the heart to start making changes that could ruffle his nearly life-long friendship.
What do Belinda and Toby share? They both have people in their lives, close people, who do not respect them. Their needs, wants, and concerns are not being considered by Sue or Fred. However, while it would be nice for Sue and Fred to automatically consider their feelings, it is up to Belinda and Toby to voice their dissatisfaction with the situation. Realistically, no one can be expected to change a situation that has been working for them. Why should Sue think that Belinda would not cover her shift for her, since she'd always done so in the past? Why would Fred stop walking into Toby's house when Toby had never told him not to? While it may seem like an issue of common courtesy, perhaps an oversight, or even a bit of stubbornness, the fact still remains that Belinda and Toby are responsible for setting boundaries and insisting that the people in their lives respect them.
Establishing boundaries to correct an action is not an easy thing to accomplish, just ask any parent. It takes time, patience, and practice. As difficult as it is for children to learn, it's much harder for adults - think "old dog new tricks." But boundaries must be established in order to protect one's existence. There are many things in life that one does not have complete control over, but finding a way to protect the things that are important, is paramount to a peaceful, joyous, passion-filled existence. Everyone deserves the right to choose how their time is spent, how they want to be treated, how they want their life to operate, and if those choices are not being met, the light to the soul is being blocked, and changes should be made.
When performed in advance, boundary setting is a preventative measure, but proactively or reactively it is necessary in many different types of situations. Sit the person down for a talk, put it on paper, or make a phone call. Take a lesson from Belinda and Toby. Don't be shy, take your stance and let your needs be heard. Reclaim your life, your choices, your space, and your soul.
Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com
Related Tags: well, they, but, mean
Eva Gregory, master coach, speaker and author of The Feel Good Guide To Prosperity, www.feelgoodguide.com, has instructed thousands on the Laws of Attraction in person, on the radio and in dozens of teleconference training seminars and programs. She is the author of several books and e-books and has co-developed several telephone-based and internet-based training courses on the Laws of Attraction. Her most popular program to date is her Leading Edge Living One Year Success Program. (http://www.leadingedgecoaching.com/Living/index.shtml) Eva is regularly featured on radio and in the media and is a recognized authority on the Laws of Attraction. To learn more about her products and services, visit Leading Edge Coaching, www.leadingedgecoaching.com. Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Using The Law Of Attraction And It's Benefits
Making the Law of Attraction Stronger with Positive ThinkingHaving a a great attitude plays a big pa - Life Transitions And Someday Dreams, If Not Now When?
Recently we've been talking about changes and transformation for the second or third part of our liv - Self Improvement Articles - Self Improvement Tips - Great Self Improvement Tips That Will Help You Achieve Your Dreams
Self improvement tips are a great way to lay the foundation for your personal growth and to push you - The Internet Is The Perfect Place For Those Over 60 To Freely Discuss Sex
The generation gap is alive and well when it comes to many issues in our society. Sex is one of them - Advice Articles - Do your own thinking, Don't let others do it for you
Have you come across a situation where in you wanted to do one thing, but you ended up doing just th - Advice Articles - 3 Simple Steps To Attracting Money For Life-Long Prosperity
Attracting money is to draw in wealth and wealth in your life. To draw in cash, you also need to un - Business Articles - Show Me the Return on Investment
Well designed incentive programs have been proven to increase performance. A study conducted by the - Motivate Yourself Effectively
Being motivated is really important in achieving our goals and without motivation we will have a har - How To Identify Your Personality, Strengths & Weaknesses In 15 Seconds And Make It Work For You
I bet you that in 15 seconds, I can read your personality and tell you what your skills, strengths a - Crush It! How To Make A Living Doing What You Love
Sometimes when I ask my clients "If money weren't an issue, what would you do with your time?" they
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Red Hot
But, do you know that many business owners employ people with similar ideas, values and beli - Doing What You Think You Cannot Do
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you - Does Your Self Help Need A Nudge In The Right Direction?
Are you in need of self help? Do you doubt your capability? If you do, you are not alone! It is no s - Negotiating Life's Detours: Follow Your Energy
Someone asked me recently if I had a guiding principle that helped me decide what new work to take o - Personal Values and Their Importance
Two Interesting Conundrums for You Read both questions first before seeing the answers which are at - Just Do It NOW!
Just do it. Put on your Nike shoes and run with it. Yeah! Jump on it. Go for it. Right now is the mo - A Successful Failure
*Before we get started..... I was hesitant to write this article the way I have because I know that - The One Thing I Know
I know one thing.I know this thing with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my bei - Chinese New Year! 10 Very Simple things to do to Create Your Best Year Ever
On February 28th we will be ringing in another New Year. Wait a minute, didn't we ju - Is Finishing your Book Your New Year's Resolution?
For some of you the reality is you won't finish. And the longer you "work" on your book, the