Personal Goal Setting Is Not About Meeting Other People's Expectations
Why do so many people fail to achieve their personal, emotional, or professional goals? Although we tend to blame ourselves, pointing to our lack of discipline, talent, or resources, the problem often lies in our very goals. Oftentimes, we set goals for ourselves that are not really our own. We may think that we're buying the house, applying to graduate school or getting married for ourselves, but too often the reality is that we are being swayed by the influence of our friends or family members. We often do not realise that so many of the decisions we make and personal goal setting we do is being influenced by others. We rationalize all our personal goals, fooling ourselves into believing that we are acting from our own desires and talents.
What happens when we let others "drive" our personal goal setting for us? More often than not, we end up abandoning our personal goals mid-stream. We realize that we pursued the wrong goals, for the wrong reasons and decide to follow our own instincts. Even if we achieve our personal goals and demonstrate outward success, we may end up feeling vaguely unsatisfied, unhappy, or compromised. For many, the idea of following their own desires may seem far-fetched or simply impractical. While it may not always be easy to do, setting our own goals is the only way to achieve a life of personal satisfaction.
So how can you differentiate between your personal goals and the expectations of others? Sometimes these two things collide in conflict, and you must be determined about staying true to your true desires. First and foremost, you absolutely must be honest with yourself about what you really want.
What are your goals and dreams? What are those persistent visions that follow you year after year? Those interests and pursuits that you dream about as you lie awake at night. These ideas that refuse to die are your dreams, and provide the basis for your personal goals. The reason so many people fail to set their own goals is because the risk involved is perceived as too large and looming. Complacency and following the expectations set by others is an easier thing to do. To set and pursue your own goals involves a good measure of courage, hard work, and honesty. Many people resist this route in order to follow the path of least resistance. They fear the hard work, the potential for failure, and the risk of humiliation.
Once you have pinpointed those aspirations that you have carried with you most of your life, you must face the difficult decision of whether you will pursue these goals or not. Many people are painfully aware of their true desires, but are too afraid to transform their dreams into real goals. They fear that they are being impractical, too caught up in the realm of fantasy. They do their best to ignore the impulse to pursue their honest desires. They figure that eventually these desires will fall to the wayside, pushed to the margins of their lives by the pressures and realities of everyday life. But what if these interests and desires never subside, what if they remain ever present, if only residing faintly in their imagination?
To bring your suppressed personal goals into clear focus, try this simple exercise. Dig out a notebook and pen. Give yourself a full five minutes to quickly put down everything you are interested in or passionate about. It's important that this be a timed exercise. The more time you give yourself to write things down, the greater the possibility that you will censure yourself. Write quickly, without judgment. Don't worry about what others will think, as this piece of paper is private and will never be seen by anyone other than you. Before you are able to even think seriously about personal goal setting, you must be honest with yourself. Let your true desires and goals come into the light. Get a good look at them and ask yourself, "Am I setting my own goals? Or am I simply following the expectations of others?"
Related Tags: goal setting, dream, goals, personal goals, personal goal setting, aspiration, aspire
Paul Duxbury writes extensively on Personal Goal Setting and has recently published The definitive Guide to Personal Goal Setting
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- How To Make Money? Be Observant And Smart
"Money talks", "Money makes the world go round" these words seem funny but it's true anyway. Almost - How To Find Happiness Through Setting Goals
Key #10 to Happiness - Setting GoalsThere're many reasons to set goals. People who set clear goals n - Avoid These Catastrophic Goal Setting Mistakes
These goal setting mistakes will stop you before you've even had a chance to give your goal a proper - Achieve Your Goals, Achieve Your Visions In Life
Are you starting to get curious on what you'd be in the next five or ten years? Have you figured out - Establishing Goals: A Clear Checklist
When you consider setting goals in your life, you are much like the captain of a ship. You have the - Kick Start The New Year By Setting Smart Goals
Many people are not able to articulate what they really want in life in clear and concise language. - Your 5 Keys To Success In Online Marketing
The real keys to success when marketing on the internet are not technical in nature nor do they requ - Securing Success In Your Life - How To Plan Your Career
Some people are lucky enough to fall straight into a fulfilling career that allows them to develop a - Goals That Care
The word care as defined in the dictionary, implies many meanings. Care can mean worry or a troubled - Solving Problems With The Right Mind Map Application
One of the best ways to solve problems in almost every area of your life is with the use of the righ
Most viewed articles in this category:
- The Many Colors of Abundance
Abundance is very much like color. No two people see colors in the same way. One person may see blu - Advance Your Business And Your Career
Here is an idea that can revolutionize your business and your life. Many organizations have retreat - Be - Do - Have
Today's article will give you guidance in goal setting. Before reading further, picture a goal you w - Goal Setting using Visualization
I have a blue convertible Beatle photo on my desk. On it, I edited my own photo and carefully place - The Power of Mental Imagery
My wife and I drove by this beautiful resort, and I blurted out, "I want to speak there, make a bunc - The Purpose of Having a Personal Goal
Goals provide our lives with a sense of purpose and direct our behaviors toward a positive end resul - New Year Resolutions: 3 Easy Steps to Success
I recently read an article that stated most people will have forgotten what their New Years Resolut - Got Goals? Your GPS To Success
You've probably heard of the Harvard goal-setting study. Members of the class of 1979 were asked whe - Goal Setting Is Not Only Once-A-Day Affair
In my last post, I mentioned that we should set goal clearly and do it daily. Now, the question is, - What Next
When on earth did it exactly happen? What morning did I wake up and think: "Man that was stupid! I w