You and the love of your life are finding it a bit difficult keeping your relationship on an even keel. Arguments are frequent and there are days you refuse to see each other. So you decide to spend one of your lonely evenings looking for solutions on the internet. Open up that browser and type in "relationship". On a slow day you will find well over 221 million (221,000,000...that is a LOT of zeroes!) returns! When you narrow this down to a few dozen that may actually be of some help you will find they all say just about the same thing. You find "Four Tips To A Successful Marriage" or "Seven Ways To Keep Your Boyfriend Interested", possibly you will come up with one about "Five Tips To Get Your Ex-Back...INSTANTLY".

Dig deeper into these tips and methods and you find most of them are repetitive. You find: (1) Be Creative; (2) Act Swiftly; (3) Provide Space or Soften Your Heart. While all of these are excellent you rarely find anything in depth. You can read two or three sentences, or possibly a complete paragraph on each and then on to the next. Maybe it is time to take one and get a little more information?

Let's look at one that is definitely important: COMMUNICATION. Pop open your dictionary and you will find that communication is the ability "to succeed in conveying ones meaning to others". While this easily describes your conversation with the mechanic regarding a new transmission in your vehicle it gets a bit cloudy with a couples problem. How do you frame a sentence? Do you use the right words? Maybe if we look at a few examples (yes...almost like "tips") we can get better insight. Here is a short list:

* I worry that exposing myself to my partner will result in rejection. Come on guys, aren't you in this "breakup situation because you didn't expose yourself? If nothing else you and your partner are supposed to be best friends. The problem is not your love knowing about you...it is when you have to second guess each other that the problems begin. Opening up in a truthful and forthright manner should in no way make you vulnerable in your relationship. Learn to share things more important than the toppings on your pizza and you are on your way to a strong and loving relationship.

* I hate it when my partner brings up a problem. Well, DUH!. You are supposed to have a relationship here. That signifies that you should have the ability to share problems as well as joys. If you can talk about that wonderful afternoon of water skiing don't you think an intimate issue should also be discussable? Back to exposing yourself to your partner...get the problem out into the open, find out each other's view points and then come to a reasonable and acceptable solution! If you truly have love for this person then you want "good" for them. That good comes about through problem solving which leaves much more room for the fun events of life.

* Speaking up will only make things worse. Well, back to the first two on our list, by now we should have found that by NOT talking through difficult spots in your relationship is nothing less than pulling the foundation out from under it. You would not build a house without a proper foundation so why jeopardize your life with this attitude. The purpose of effective communication is to open the discussion channels in order to SOLVE before they become dangerous. The atmosphere in your relationship will be more relaxed, more loving, more FUN when you are able to work out the worst problems as easily as agreeing on that pizza topping.

The reasons behind poor communication vary from couple to couple, but the secret is to not let those reasons get in the way of your love life. Work up the courage to open this conversation with your partner and you will discover many ways to strengthen your relationship. Failure to do this eventually can weaken the foundation of your partnership and lead to total disintegration.

If these words have tickled your fancy into improving your relationship skills then Pull Your ex Back should be of interest to you.

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