Self initiated - These are usually easier to cope with especially if you can gradually phase them in to your life, eg. moving house, changing job, getting married/divorced, having a child.

Imposed - These are often accompanied by the fear of the unknown causing us to resist, eg. redundancy, separation [not self initiated], relocation, empty nest syndrome.

Sudden - These can be followed by a period of shock, sense of loss, anger, depression and confusion, eg. death, illness [self or others], divorce.

When people enter a transition they have to deal with an ending before they can embrace the new beginning.

After major life events or an accumulation of lesser changes, people enter a transition cycle. Whether the changes are good or bad, they still have the potential to destabilise us.

If the event is good, there will be an initial excitement followed by a 'honeymoon' period often lasting several weeks or months. Commonly around six months later, there may be inner contradictions, uncertainty, questioning of choices, losing confidence, confusion or even low mood.

Similarly, if the change is bad, there is often an initial numbness followed by disbelief. This can progress towards the same questioning, re evaluating and negative emotions which can leave people feeling bewildered and overwhelmed.

People can find they are:

Discontent with their life/lifestyle that was previously deemed to be ok.

Bored with things or people that were previously important or interesting.

Yearning for adventure or something different.

Confusion about identity and the meaning of life and decisions previously made.

Mistakes made:

In a crisis, people often make poor or irrational decisions. This can lead to regrets later, eg. leave a job or partner, throw away security. Although women are generally more open about expressing feelings, how they cope can be dependent on personality type and resilience. Often women are or have been in a caring role and if this is a strong part of their identity it can make it difficult to seek out or accept support which can compound the situation.

When dealing with transitions low self esteem and lack of confidence left unsupported can equal lost opportunities. Therapy can often help towards letting go, accepting, exploring and testing out until a new found confidence is reached and transformation is complete.

Coping strategies:

Be patient! - You are changing from one set of circumstances to another so give yourself time to adjust and settle down.

Expect to have a reaction - Allow yourself to laugh, cry or feel angry, change involves a degree of loss. It's natural to grieve a little and look back.

Try not to personalise - Change will happen and we often don't have any control over events in our life. Don't fixate or look to attribute blame as this is non productive.

Be flexible - Go with the flow if you resist it can prolong the process - you are only fighting with yourself.

Don't isolate yourself - Allow yourself to be supported and get a different, more objective perspective.

Don't let negativity breed negativity - It's easy to catastrophise everything when you've had a difficult time. There are usually positives in there too, however small.

Break it down - Deal with it in manageable chunks, it will seem less overwhelming and don't forget to acknowledge your achievements.

Learn from it - Take the wisdom that each transition brings, we often get the most growth from the things that are most difficult.

Know that it will end.