Have you ever "had to" listen to a person complain long and miserably because someone in their life will not behave differently? Do you hear bitter recrimination because you are who you are and won't be what someone else wants you to be? Are you the one who is simply unable to accept the personality or nature of another in your life? These are instances of attempting to turn a cat into a dog.

There's something seriously askew when we cannot accept the basic nature of others in our life. Here are some things to consider.

1.) Perhaps the issue is that you never noticed the basic nature of the cat. You've spent a lot of time with them, but somehow (perhaps because you wished it so) you convinced yourself that the cat was a dog.

2.) There are those who delude themselves about the nature of things from the beginning. They prefer to live in fantasy rather than in reality. They end up with lots of knocks on the head (or heart) doing this, but somehow they just keep repeating the pattern.

3.) Some people accept others as they are at first, then later decide who they are is not adequate or acceptable. This can have a lot of causes...it can be a "rejection game" meant to allow them to feel superior. It can be a way to create distance. Perhaps they were desperate for attention and company at first, then wake up one day finding fault.

4.) There is almost a kind of "insanity" involved in wanting others to be different from who they are. It is irrational to want black to be white or to want a man to be a "girlfriend" or to want for up to be down. Yet, we don't see the irrationality in wanting someone to be different from who they are.

5.) If you want a dog in your life, don't choose a cat for your pet. Pay attention to who people truly are. They will show you their true nature. All you have to do is keep your eyes open, observe, and don't pretend that they are different from what you see.

6.) Make a point not to fantasize or romanticize about people. Don't observe a single behavior and make up whole sagas about what kind of person they are. Just stay in reality and stay out of daydreams.

7.) Don't pretend to be someone different from who you truly are. Doing so will only complicate matters. If you are presenting a false self, you are likely getting others responding to you differently from their true self...and this can only result in problems later.

8.) Keep your social life active enough that you will not make choices driven by loneliness. When loneliness is a primary criteria, you will likely accept others who aren't really a fit for you or your life.

9.) Decide either to accept a person as they are or "let them go" from your life. Life is too short to spend it in dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships. If they aren't what you want, bless them and send them on their way.

10.) If you want a dog, choose a dog. Go where dogs are. Involve yourself in activities that dogs frequent. Get really good at paying attention to dogs you meet. Make time to actively seek out what you want.

11.) Say "No" to any temptations to accept a cat-"just one last time"-when you really want a dog. This can be a huge temptation when you are actively working to change the pattern. Just don't do it. It doesn't work. It never did and never will. You are deluding yourself.

12.) Don't go where the cats are and pine for a dog. This is ridiculous behavior and incredibly self defeating.

There is a whole new level of joy on the healed side of this pattern. You will find yourself a lot happier and more satisfied. You will accept others...and yourself. You will choose to fill your life with those who are what you want. You will stop suffering from deluding yourself. You will stop wanting and trying to change others. There's a lot of inner peace in acceptance. There's satisfaction in knowing a cat (or dog) when you see one. There's also much more love in the world.