Tradition or Love?


by Lexi Jewlgia - Date: 2007-05-20 - Word Count: 408 Share This!

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie "The Quiet Man" which made me think about how relationships, dating, and marriage have changed. In the movie, Shawn (John Wayne) sets his sights on a fiery Irish lass named Mary Kate (Maureen O'Hara). Their dates were kept simple and consisted of going for walks, attending social events, and having tea in the parlor. The physical aspects of love weren't rushed in their relationship, which let their concerns be focused on conversing and getting to know one another.

As the movie progressed, Shawn's intentions were to wed Mary Kate. However, there was tension between Shawn and Mary Kate's older brother. When Shawn sought approval for Mary Kate's hand in marriage, it was initially denied by her brother.

This was set in a time when Irish women believed that their worth was defined by their dowry. Dowries are whatever property, money, and gifts which go with the bride into the new marriage. Mary Kate's brother was unwilling to allow her much of a dowry if she married Shawn, which caused problems because she thought the community would not appreciate her full value. When I was watching this love story, it was difficult for me to understand why a woman would think in the manner Mary Kate did. In my mind, a woman's self-worth should never be determined by the material things she brings into a marriage. However, the more I thought about traditions, the more I was able to relate to her way of thinking.

Though dowries still exist, they were far more common in the past. Today, when someone chooses whether or not to accept a marriage proposal, dowries and approval from family members are not likely to be the deciding factors. It wasn't too long ago that a man felt he needed to ask permission from a family for their daughter's hand in marriage. When it comes to current times, love seems to have overruled many of the popular past traditions. In the end, I find myself wondering if the traditional ways of the past are more of a romantic tale to share, or if it is more romantic that love has taken the lead?

"Well, a fine opinion he must have of me if he thinks I'd go to any man without a proper fortune. And this you may tell your Mr. Party of the first part. That when I wed, whatever's my own goes with me." ~ Quote from "The Quiet Man"


Related Tags: relationships, dating, romance, family, marriage, traditional, customs

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