I lost a beloved relative last year. I'm not going to say who she was because I am going to say some unkind things about her. That doesn't mean I didn't love her, but it was often difficult to watch her (even from some distance away) because of her behavior.

You know that old adage about a prophet being without honor in his own country? Well, I was a younger relative. And even though I was a licensed nurse, this older relative of mine thought I couldn't possibly know more than she did. I guess what I'm trying to say is she wouldn't listen. When I started taking prednisone, she called me on the telephone.

"Suzie," she said. "Let me tell you how to take prednisone. Every other day, take an extra 5 or 10 milligrams. They'll never know. and you'll feel so much better than that low dose they're giving you."

A chill ran up my spine as I realized what she had been doing for years. I made an attempt to explain to her why that was such a terrible idea, but she would have no part of it. She was blinded by her pain and suffering and thought she had discovered a ticket out. I had often suspected it, but now realized why she had so many problems. An arthritic condition, which was horrific enough on its own, was further complicated by the devastating effects of a dangerous drug. True, steroids are often necessary, but they should be taken judiciously and honestly and always the way they are prescribed.

As the years passed, her bones began to disappear. Her cervical bones shrank, she lost a toe...get the idea? In the end, her neck and head were supported by screws - more pain, more prednisone. Surgeries always became grossly complicated. She had more than one doctor, so keeping a stock of drugs on hand was not difficult. If anyone questioned her, she would lie and say she had dropped them accidentally down the drain or left them in the hotel when she was on vacation. Overwhelming infections began to assail her. A broken hip kept popping out and had to be put back into place five times over. Finally, she walked across the street to see a neighbor, not using her cane probably because she felt so "good" and didn't believe she needed it. She fell, shattering a knee replacement. It became infected, and the infection overwhelmed her tragically compromised immune system. The adjoining bones became infected, so the knee could never be replaced.

The whole picture of her disease was too complicated and tangled in the abuse of drugs, as I am sure there was other abuse as well as the prednisone. Self-honesty lost out a long time before she died to a plastic zip-lock bag of pills taken at her discretion, not as they were intended and developed to be taken.

Dear friends, if you have more than one doctor, tell each of them what you take. Lying to yourself is not availing yourself of the medical knowledge which is out there to help you. Playing games, especially abusing prescription drugs, is like playing Russian roulette without the gun.

Sue Falkner Wood

Sue's blog can be found at http://blog.healthtalk.com/chronicpain/

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