Rhubarb Romance - A Little Honey Works Wonders

by Dan Ohler - Date: 2007-01-14 - Word Count: 688 Share This!

Spring is in the air.  It is a time of new life.  There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb. 

The darned stuff is the first thing to show up in the garden.  For those of you who don’t know about rhubarb, it grows from a huge root ball under the soil.  A mass of stalks shoot through the soil each topped with a leaf the size of an elephant’s ear.  OK – a small elephant’s ear, but it’s big.  The stalks are red near the ground, greener toward the leaf, and they grow to be the size of a child’s arm.  It tries to take control of the garden.  It shades everything nearby so those plants can’t grow as desired. In its raw state, it is bitter, sour, and it can be toxic if you use the wrong parts. If you chew on it, it bites back in ways you don’t expect.
Does this sound like your numero uno relationship, with your spouse or partner?  Does it feel a little “rhubarbish” sometimes?

Helping people enhance their relationship is our speciality.  One of the biggest problems we see is that people begin to take each other for granted.  We often hear people talk about their partner.  Sometimes it is good, but usually it is not.  He/she:  never listens, is manipulative, is rude and obnoxious, is a workaholic, won’t talk about feelings, is irresponsible, is too emotional, never does anything around the house, isn’t exciting any more, etc.

A relationship like this can be nasty.  And if we focus on these things, guess what happens? 

Holy rhubarb, that’s all we see.  And it gets worse.  I know this to be true because I’ve experienced it.  If the picking, whining, and blaming continues, the relationship falls into a hot pot that will eventually boil dry and burn.  It may happen quickly or it may take years.  I guarantee it will occur, leaving both people bitter, sour, and toxic, just as if they were rhubarb.  In our case, we were very close to ending the relationship.

Have you been in this boiling pot?  Be honest with yourself.

Regardless of what is occurring in your relationship, apply some rhubarb romance.

Rhubarb is unique, vibrant, thriving, and resilient.  When cooked, it smells heavenly, and has a scrumptious flavour.  Rhubarb pie is my favourite!!  Rhubarb – love it, care for it, and add lots of sweetener. 

So it is with my relationship with my wife, Carol.  She is my favourite.  She has the same unique qualities, traits, and appearance that I originally loved, which have been enhanced through our experience.  I create great happiness, joy, and satisfaction through this relationship.  I am not willing to let it boil dry and burn.  Instead, I choose to love her, care for her, and add sweetener.  I prefer honey and so does she.

Six cups of honey ideas for rhubarb romance: 

1. “Good morning Honey.” Add a kiss and a hug.  Come on folks!  Not that “love ya” peck on the cheek as you rush out the door that really says, “I don’t have time for you.”  Mean it!

2. “Honey, what can I do to help you so your day goes smoothly?”  Joyfully do what is asked of you.

3. “Honey, tell me about your day.” Keep your mouth shut and LISTEN intently, without feeling the need to fix anything.

4. “Honey, let’s do the (dishes, yard work, cleaning, shopping...) together.”

5. “Honey, can we talk about (...).”  Be willing to communicate honestly, openly, and respectfully about anything that comes up.

6. “Good night Honey.” Once again, add a kiss and a hug.  Lovingly look that special person deeply in the eyes, the portals to their soul.  Always go to bed together on a happy note.

If you are in a relationship, you know that there is room for improvement.  Are you neglecting this person who could be the most significant person in your life?  Are you taking your relationship for granted?  Is there some rhubarb bitterness going on? 

Be the catalyst TODAY and add some of the sweet ideas above.  They may cause you to lose some sleep, but you won’t mind.

Rhubarb romance.  Delicious and sweet, or bitter and sour?  Make a choice!

Copyright© 2005

Dan Ohler is a relationship, change, and happiness specialist based near Edmonton, AB, Canada.  Dan’s high-content keynotes, workshops, and comedy presentations help you and your organization excel. 

Dan encourages change through insights & humour.  Learn to apply the basics of human psychology, the natural laws that produce success.  Learn the secrets to create life-long flourishing relationships, and abounding success. 

To book Dan for your next conference or event, get FREE articles, or to subscribe to his e-zine, “Soaring Insights,” visit http://www.thinkinoutsidethebarn.com/

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