Creating Change: Step 2a - Construct A Vision Of What You Want

by Tomar Levine - Date: 2010-01-31 - Word Count: 352 Share This!

In order to create change you have to know what you want. But sometimes it's easier to figure out first what you don't want.

It's easy to come up with the irritants that annoy us about our lives, the things we complain of to our friends, the things we wistfully think of when we say "if only I had that my life would be so much better." What are those things for you? I bet you don't have to think too hard to call them to mind.

I suggest making a list and ranking them in order of their importance. Once you've identified the number one thing that's not working, that you'd like to change, then you can turn the negative around and state the positive by asking yourself the question: What is it I do want?

Look at the big picture as you do this. Try to state the overall result you want in a positive way, rather than by simply deleting the irritant.

For instance, if your work is boring you might say "I want to be challenged and fulfilled in my work" rather than "I want less paperwork." If you feel criticized by someone close to you, rather than "I want Harry to stop nagging me," you might state, "I want to feel supported by the people in my life."

As you can see, these statements do not specify a precise form for the desired outcome. The solution could take the form of changing your job or your relationships; but it could also come through improving the ones you've got - by asking for what you need, initiating difficult conversations you've been avoiding, or by discovering the parts of your situation you do like and maximizing those.

It helps to pinpoint and name what it is you really want in as broad and open a way as possible and then to put your attention on different ways you could achieve that. It's always more constructive than dwelling on what you don't have. You may be amazed by how much better your life will feel from making even a seemingly small change.

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