Attitude - what's inside your head; your posture; your facial expressions; how gentle you are with yourself and others. Attitude is the one beauty asset that can make or break a look.

Woman #1: Attractive but Not Gorgeous. Have you ever seen a perfectly coiffed woman with flawless makeup and an outfit to die for? Just for fun, let's add some Cindy Crawford sunglasses and a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. When you get close to her, you realize she's wearing Adrienne Vittadini Perfume. But wait - something's still not right. Why are you not dazzled? Could it be something as simple as a slouch?

We're not advocating perfection. Trying for perfection is stressful. We're advocating a natural confidence, irregardless of exterior trappings.

Woman #2: Breathtaking but Not Runway-Pretty. Let's look at another woman. She has no makeup on - maybe a light dusting of powder over plain features, and some lip gloss. She's wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. She doesn't wear perfume because co-workers in the office have complained of allergies. Yet she's dazzling. People on the street turn to look at her.

How could this be?

Our jeans woman walks tall. Her shoulders are back, her frown lines are minimal - from not frowning, not from Botox. Her stride is steady. You feel you could have coffee with her and tell her all your secrets and she'd still like you. She's not in an enormous hurry, and her awareness is centered, not scattered. How do we know all this? It shows in her appearance. We hear it in her voice when she speaks in a comfortable register and volume. Her hair is pulled back with a simple clip, and some stray locks have come loose - but it's silky and shiny. You can imagine her casually pulling out the clip, running her hands through her hair, and effortlessly putting the clip back in.

It's About Self-respect

You've seen this before, haven't you? Beauty is all about attitude. Your attitude toward yourself, and the way you look at others. It shows in the way we talk to ourselves in our heads; in the way we treat the waitress at lunch; in how we gently offer to help a colleague who's behind in her paperwork; in how we smile at the person behind us in a long, slow post office line. It shows when we offer to take a message for someone rather than just say they're not in. When we choose a pet from the pound instead of a breeder. Oh yes, it totally shows.

So how's this for good news: Your most powerful beauty asset is 100% free. It's a choice; a decision we make. It shows in the details. How we respect ourselves and others. We may not have perfect red fingernails, but our nails are filed and our cuticles cared for. We may buy clothes at the discount store, but they fit well. We may have some gray in our hair, but boy does that hair shine. We eat a healthy diet, and our eyes sparkle. Cigarettes? No thanks, they ruin a look.

A confident attitude starts on the inside. It's our default way of thinking and acting. But what about those of us who don't have it inside? How do we get it?

Working It From the Outside In

Easy - we start on the outside, and let it work its way in. We walk tall and make that a habit. We anticipate success in our projects and relationships, and catch ourselves when we hear negative voices in our head. We get organized at home and at the office, get our clothes in order, sew those buttons on, tell our people we love them, get rid of clutter in our personal papers. For more ideas, see True Beauty - How to Get It at My Makeup Mirror. In the meantime, here's how to get started:

1. Monitor your voice. Let it be softer if need be.

2. Be aware of your habits. No need to shriek into the cell phone in public. No need to rush into that parking spot that someone else also wanted. (You'll probably get a better parking spot the next time around the block.)

3. Watch your posture. Bad posture is a huge attitude-buster.

4. When someone approaches you at the office, smile. It doesn't have to be a big grin or anything major. Just a slight smile to put them at ease.

You'll be beautiful. You'll be an inspiration for others. And although it's all in your head, it will affect every aspect of your life.