The Best Lines for Leaving


by Bernadette Sukley - Date: 2007-03-13 - Word Count: 396 Share This!

Say the word "bail" and you're bound to get all manner of word associations. But use it in a sentence with the word with "date" (e.g., "I had to bail because my date was humming Goodbye Earl") and everyone who's dated knows what bail means--get out, fast! Here are several lines that will help you leave quickly, save face and basically call it a night without out too much fanfare.

"I have to go let the dog out." This won't work if you live in an apartment. Unless, you mention it's really a toy poodle that your landlord thinks is some sort of Eastern European breed of cat.

"Need to get up early tomorrow." What ever it is, it'd better be good. Early to bed, early to rise excuses only work for fishing, long trips, long fishing trips, or the family reunions (excuse only to be used once a year). So this means you lay low for the weekend, to avoid running into your date at Blockbuster.

"Oh my gosh I just forgot to…" Turn off the iron, gas, oven, something electric or flammable that will burn down the entire neighborhood if you don't attend to it immediately.

"Did you hear that? I think it's my voices again." Nothing says goodbye quicker than a little make-believe psychoses. Angels will work in a pinch, but know that some people find dates with "gifts" irresistible. And it used be cool just to be able to read Tarot cards.

"I feel sick." The perfect foil for an exit. Follow the three cardinal rules of un faux malaise: go pale or green, teeter a little upon standing and puff up your cheeks like you're ready to hurl. Race for the door. Hand wave is optional.

"I think that (insert date's present profession here) are just parasites on society's ass." This insult of insults almost guarantees that your date will leave first. Suggestion: if you decide on this particular method, wear moisture-wicking garments as you may be doused with a beverage. Above all, act surprised.

"Must go visit sick relative in hospital." Use with caution. This may portray you as a caring individual, making you more attractive in the other's eyes. Inform your date that it's a horribly infectious disease (cancrum osso is a good one) and you need to inhale some sort of antibiotic every time you go into the room. Grimace--like you just tasted sour milk.


Related Tags: men, women, relationships, dating, humor, excuses, endings

Bernadette Sukley is a freelance writer with an eye towards the quirky. Her work has appeared in Sports Illustrated for Women, ABROAD and Prevention.com. Trying to find that oddball fact? Or just love the unique? She does too. Contact: novelist2be@excite.com and http://thequirkywriter.blogspot.com/

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