Difference between Mother-In-Law now and then
- Date: 2007-09-18 - Word Count: 305
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There are many crossroads in lives.
When we find ourselves facing this, we realise why people around us seemed to change.
In fact, people don't change. Situation changes.
Before getting married, my mother-in-law had that amount of expectation. And after our wedding, the expectation was raised by ten times over.
It was not easy to meet that kind of expectation.
The only way to keep my sanity is to be who I am.
I'm not going to change for her. Neither do I expect my wife to change for my mother.
I would want my wife to be who she has always been.
After I shared my experience about my 45 minutes lecture from my mother-in-law, some readers emailed me, sharing with me about the same fate after marriage.
The mother-in-law of a bride was really picky and fussy over everything she does and the way she behaves in her house.
The daughter-in-law was so uncomfortable and pissed off that she locked herself in her room all day.
In the other example, the mother-in-law expected the bride to be another "mother" to her son and gave her weekly tasks to do for her son.
I think it is more like a maid than a mother.
When the mom had difficulty getting her messages across to her own son, she expected her daughter to do it for her and to teach him a lesson or two.
The consequence?
Strained relationship within these two newly-wed just because of the "mothers-in-law"
I'm not saying all mother-in-laws are like this.
I'm sure mine will get better too.
Some mother-in-laws give absolute privacy to the newly-wed and they come from the angles of friends.
They know to have a harmonious relationship at home, these new-age mothers have to be the daughters-in-law's friends.
However, such mothers-in-law are rare. And if you have one like this, better cherish her.
Share it with your female married friends and many will awe in envy.
When we find ourselves facing this, we realise why people around us seemed to change.
In fact, people don't change. Situation changes.
Before getting married, my mother-in-law had that amount of expectation. And after our wedding, the expectation was raised by ten times over.
It was not easy to meet that kind of expectation.
The only way to keep my sanity is to be who I am.
I'm not going to change for her. Neither do I expect my wife to change for my mother.
I would want my wife to be who she has always been.
After I shared my experience about my 45 minutes lecture from my mother-in-law, some readers emailed me, sharing with me about the same fate after marriage.
The mother-in-law of a bride was really picky and fussy over everything she does and the way she behaves in her house.
The daughter-in-law was so uncomfortable and pissed off that she locked herself in her room all day.
In the other example, the mother-in-law expected the bride to be another "mother" to her son and gave her weekly tasks to do for her son.
I think it is more like a maid than a mother.
When the mom had difficulty getting her messages across to her own son, she expected her daughter to do it for her and to teach him a lesson or two.
The consequence?
Strained relationship within these two newly-wed just because of the "mothers-in-law"
I'm not saying all mother-in-laws are like this.
I'm sure mine will get better too.
Some mother-in-laws give absolute privacy to the newly-wed and they come from the angles of friends.
They know to have a harmonious relationship at home, these new-age mothers have to be the daughters-in-law's friends.
However, such mothers-in-law are rare. And if you have one like this, better cherish her.
Share it with your female married friends and many will awe in envy.
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