Anger is a natural reaction stemming from a variety of emotions, like conflict with friends, shame, embarrassment, frustration with parents, difficulty at school. All those emotions can be very strong in teenagers and, if not dealt with, can harm them in time. Unresolved anger, whether expressed or not, can lead to depression, use of alcohol or drugs and eating disorders. Teenagers' anger is not to be taken lightly or as a passing phase.

It is therefore important to be equipped to help teenagers with anger. Below are some anger management techniques you can share with teenagers around you:

First, acknowledge their emotions, their reactions and tell them it is perfectly natural to feel angry sometimes. Shouting, breaking things and ranting may feel good at the moment but don't resolve anything. With your help, they can recognize the signs of oncoming anger before letting it escalate to a fit.

If you punish anger demonstrations from your teenagers, there is the risk that they feel that their anger is a negative emotion, and might turn to keeping their feelings pent up inside, which can cause worse damage than shouting or crying.

Anger usually starts the same way for everyone: heart pounding, shallow breathing, muscles tensing. Different from younger kids, teenagers are self-aware. Suggest they find a positive word or a short sentence they can use when they feel anger coming on, when their heart starts to pound and they feel constricted in their chests, for example: "I will stay calm", or "breathe, breathe, breathe" like a mantra. When we are calmer, we are more apt to settle a conflict.
Finding solutions to problems is the next step. What do you do now? Teenagers can identify what caused their anger, and you can help them find the first emotion that triggered said anger. Is it because a friend made an embarrassing joke? Is it disappointment about a bad grade on a test? Underneath anger you will often find hurt. Anyone feeling hurt deserves comforting and reassurance. Once the reason is clearly defined, finding a solution becomes easier.

Listen to them. Teenagers should feel comfortable talking about how they feel with their parents or teachers. Sometimes only ears and undivided attention are necessary to help teens cope with their emotions.

Try to spot changes in mood and behavior at home and at school for signs of underlying anger. Has the teen become secluded, isolated from friends? Have friends stopped calling? Is the teen more prone to frustration and annoyance? With these clues, engage in discussions if possible, or simply let them know you are there, available if they need you. Sometimes talking about our own past experiences can reassure the teen without the need for a full discussion.

Making light of their feelings must be avoided. Their emotions are true; their hurt is real. Show your teenagers you care about how they feel. Their life is important to you and you enjoy spending time with them. Open communication with our teens is an essential part to a healthy relationship. In the book "Solving Teenage Problems" a model to have an effective discussion with your teenager has been provide along with option of an exercise, which can help you prepare for all the possible scenarios. The healthier the relationship, the better we will become at helping our teens grow into well-adjusted adults.