Uneven Swinging - How Singles Can Become Swingers

by Stewart - Date: 2008-08-10 - Word Count: 762 Share This!

What attracts swinger couples to swinging

There are many things that attract people towards swinging. Some are obvious and common, whilst others are individually deeply rooted and quite obscure. Instead of trying to analyse all possible motives, the ones listed below are probably the most common and easiest to understand. They are based on the experience of having organised and attended countless swinger parties over the last fifteen years, and asking swinger couples what attracted them to swinging in the first place and are:
1. Curiosity - such couples very rarely do more than socialise with other couples and after one party their curiosity is often satisfied
2. Social - Couples who do not really want more than an uninhibited social relationship with like-minded couples.
3. Exhibitionism - Couples who enjoy being the centre of attraction and sexual longing but may or may not want sexual relationships with other swingers.
4. Voyeurism - Couples who are primarily motivated by watching others and may not want to participate themselves.
5. Relationship therapy - Couples who feel the need to add some spice to their relationship by jointly exploring recreational sex with or in the company of others. This motivation is usually the one that provides genuine and lasting involvement on the swing scene.
6. Bi-sexual leanings - Most commonly where the female partner is bi-sexual and wishes to explore or develop this aspect of her sexuality with similarly minded swinger females.
7. Impotency etc. - There are a surprising number of couples attracted to swinging because the male partner is impotent or who for other reasons enjoys watching his partner having sex with other men. 
8. Male chauvinism or misogyny - Couples with a chauvinistic or even misogynist male partner who want to believe that their partner is keen to swing when in reality she is not. The female in such a relationship is usually just going through the motions of trying to please her insensitive partner. Sadly this is far more common than many on the swing scene care to admit. Although many such couples will disappear from the scene after one or two meetings or parties, others can last out playing their sad game for years.

The couples who want single males

The couples who make up the first two categories listed above are most unlikely to be interested in the attentions of single males. It is more likely that such couples will be quite adverse or even hostile to the very presence of single males at swinger parties.
Within the exhibitionism category there are bound to be swinger couples who enjoy single males lustfully watching them but only a small minority of these will welcome more intimate attention.
Voyeurs want to watch females and other couples. It therefore follows that this category will not include many couples who enjoy the presence of single males.
Similarly the motivation of female to female bi-sexuality will automatically exclude interest in single males.
Of the remaining categories, single males can more or less rule out being wanted by category eight as these "pseudo-couples" are led by a male, using his largely uninterested partner as ticket into the swing scene.
This leaves categories five and seven. Within five, the relationship therapy category, there is a small proportion of couples who enjoy relationships with single males and because this category produces the couples who are most likely to be fully active over a long period of time, they offer single males a real chance of sustained involvement in the swing scene.
Category seven is obviously going to provide the main source of couples for single males but because of its nature the couples it represents are inclined to be older than the average for the scene as a whole. Single males that are only interested young and attractive couples will probably not find too many who match their requirements.

How single males can break through these barriers
What has been presented so far may seem to offer a gloomy outlook for single male swingers. However by working within this realistic appraisal of swinger couples and their motivations, determined single males can break through the barriers and enjoy regular swinging fun.
In addition to understanding which couples are likely to want them, they can simplify the process of acceptance by organising and hosting their own swinger parties, inviting only couples and single females.
Once they have found a couple who wants to enjoy a threesome relationship with them, they will be able to accompany the couple to some (but not all) swinger parties.
Of course, the best way of all for a single male to get into swinging is for him to find a single female who is also interested. The best way to do that is to join a good adult dating club.

Related Tags: swingers, swinging

The authors are a couple who believe passionately in sexual freedom. Their articles with advice for swingers and other sexual libertines can be found at Club Aphrodite, swinger party club and adult dating service which has been in business since 1997

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