If We All Could Choose: How Infants Get Their Assignments


by Michael Allen - Date: 2007-01-17 - Word Count: 1052 Share This!

Staring at the kids in the playground across the street, I could see how different they all were. Kids with messy hair and torn clothes. Kids with prepped hair and nice clothes. They all played well together. They didn't know the difference, but I could see it.

If it could be different, how would it be?

In the heavens, the masses of infants are waiting for their time to be connected to their families. Some are doing pull-ups, diapers securely attached around the waist. Infants with tattoos on their arms are doing curls at the weight bench. Cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, little James Deaners are kicking back against the brick wall. Little girls are gathered together pointing and laughing at the boys they like.

The football comes rolling over to the girls and they just stand their watching as one little boy runs over to get it. He grabs the ball. Throws it up in the air and catches it. One girl catches his eye. The connection is made. He slowly walks away and then he looks over his shoulder for one last look.

A booming voice sounds over the loud speaker, "Infant 1441, report to the check out desk."

One infant looks up toward the loud speaker, "Did he say 1441?"

"Yeah man, you're up. Good luck!"

"Thanks man! I'm finally out of here. Hey, I'm leaving Dan."

Dan looks over and gives him a nod of his head. "Good to go. I'll catch up you lucky bird!"

"So long man! See you when you get down there."

As he leaves and makes his way toward the check out desk, he shakes hands and waves at people as they cheer for him. Everyone is happy. They know their time will come. No need to rush anything.

"Hey, remember me man. We'll hook up when we get old enough to drive."

"Yeah, sounds good. Just get your people to get with my people and we'll make it happen."

"You bet man."

Over the loudspeaker, "Come on 1441. We don't have all day."

And with that, he exits through the pearly gates. A rather distinctive looking gentleman is standing on the outside with a clipboard. "Hi 1441! I'm going to ask you a series of questions so that we can get you situated."

"It's Ted."

"What's that?"

"My name. It's Ted."

A slight chuckle, "Oh, no. You're going to have to forget about all that. You'll get a new name when you hit the ground. Your family will provide it for you. But, look on the bright side. You have a chance of getting Ted. Now, what kind of family do you want?"

Looking, "Hmm. I want them to be rich."

Checking a box on his clipboard, "Everyone does. Ok, what culture would you like?"

"Well, I really don't care about it that much as long as they are extremely rich and I can get started on the right foot."

"So, you don't have any more specifications than that?"

"Not really. Although, I would like to be born in America I think. I've heard good things about that country."

"Ok, if that's it then. Here's your ticket and go to," looking around and pointing, "that stork right there. He'll make sure you get to where you want to go."

"Ok, thanks." Waddles off and hands the stork his ticket. As he sits in the cloth diaper dangling from the stork's mouth, he waves at the only gentleman he ever knew. He looks back with a little fear and hesitation, but he's ready. He's been waiting for this moment his whole pre-life.

"1442! 1442 please!"

A few minutes later and 1442 comes waddling up through the gates. "Hi 1442! I'm going to ask you a series of questions so that we can get you situated."

"Sam."

"I'm sorry what?"

"My name is Sam."

Laughing. "What is with you little guys today? That's cute. Having a name for yourself. But, you'll get a new one when you hit the ground. You're family will give you one. But, look at the bright side. You have a chance of getting named Sam again. Now, what kind of family would you like?"

"I think I want a rich one. Loaded. Lots of money. I want to be able to do a lot of things as I grow up. I don't want to miss out on anything."

"Everyone does. Is that it? Do you have any specific culture?"

"Hmm, let me see! I think being Australian would be nice. The women love that accent."

"Ok. If that will be all," looking around, "proceed to that stork there with this ticket and you're all set."

Sam waddles off to his destiny.

"1443. 1443 please!"

1443 comes waddling up. "Hi 1443! I'm going to ask you a series of questions so that we can get you situated."

"Ok."

Looking at him a little crooked, "Hmm, interesting. What kind of family do you want?"

"Well, I've given it a great deal of thought sitting in there. I think what would be best for me is to be born into a relatively poor family. I want to eat every day and I want a roof over my head. But, I don't want to have everything like these other guys do. I think they're never going to know what it's like to actually earn something. I want to appreciate things in life you know what I mean?"

Nodding slowly, "Sure do! That's very perceptive of you. Any ideas on culture?"

"I really don't know which would be better because I don't want the color of my skin to hold me back. I don't want my religion to keep me from simple things like boarding planes. You know? If I'm going to take a set back, I believe that's enough. I shouldn't have to battle all those other obstacles too. But, wouldn't it be great to be born into that kind of adversity and still rise above it? I don't know. I'm a little confused on that point. So, you pick! I'll be happy with it as long as you understand what I mean. I can trust you."

"Ok. I think I can do that for you."

"Uh, don't tell me. I want it to be a surprise."

"My little secret…Ok take this ticket and go to," looking around, "That stork right there."

The nameless 1443 waddles off to his unknown destiny.

"Wow," to himself, "There's going to be some great things come out of him!"

"1444…" looking back at 1443 for a second, he nods his head in admiration. "Uh, 1444 please!"


Related Tags: family, culture, rich, poor, heaven, society, infants

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