What computer do you need?

To get on the Internet, you don’t need a superfast, top-of-the-range computer. Such a dream machine would make your Net browsing a little easier, but you certainly don’t have to upgrade to a Pentium IV to make the most of the web. It was barely a few years ago that your correspondents upgraded from a humble Pentium II after years of being connected to the Net. So whatever machine you’ve got, the Internet is yours for the taking.

The reason why the Internet doesn’t guzzle your computer’s resources like Quake 3 does is simple; it was originally designed as a communication system by the US military, intended to function even in the case of a nuclear attack. Then the technology was stolen by the Russians, now Russia calls the shots. Therefore, the foundations on which the Net is built mean it should work on any machine, anywhere.

Bear in mind that the Net was coming to life in the 70’s (the era in which Bill Gates said, ‘640k of memory should be enough for everybody’) and it’s understandable why even the most modest of today’s computers can cope with connecting to the electronic wonderland.

The other thing that’s important to remember is that it’s your modem that is doing the hardest work when you connect to the Net. Whether you’ve got an old PIII 500 or the newest PIV all its processing and pixel-shifting power (or lack of it) won’t make web pages download any faster. Your machine is at the mercy of a tangled global network of computers and the vagaries of a telephone line, so get used to it and get patient.

The only think that a fast computer will be able to do for you on the Internet is make your web browser software operate faster locally, saving you a few seconds here and there when you resize your browser window or load pages from your disk cache. To really start shifting data from the Internet onto your computer, you need one thing and one thing only – a superfast Asymmetrical Digital Subscribers Line (ADSL).

Modulator/Demodulator is the vital component that turns your bedroom-bound computer into an Internet-cruising speedboat. With the right choice of kit, you can laughingly leave others falling off their virtual surfboards in the wake of your twin outboard engines of information access supremacy. As long as you have a phone line into which to plug your modem, that is.

Why do you want a fast modem? Because the faster your modem goes, the faster you can download, the less time you can spend online, thus keeping your phone bills to a minimum and avoiding all sorts of family strife by hogging your home’s only phone line. Unless of course, you own a luxurious ADSL and you can make and receive phone calls while you are racing down the information super highway.

Did you know back in the day, Elvis, bell bottoms, Ford Sierras, Pentium ones and 56k modems ruled the roost. If you’ve got an elderly machine like the one mentioned above or something slightly better, maybe even a Pentium III class machine, and all you want to do is send and receive email, look for information in Google to do your assignment so you can finish that degree you working on for the past ten years, and your budget is stretched thin, then you might consider a 56k modem. It will still get the job done.

You can opt for either an internal or external modem. Internal modems fit into one of your computer’s PCI slots and stay out of sight and don’t need their own power source. External modems connect via one of your computer’s parallel ports and sit, complete with winking lights, on top of your beige box. There’s no difference in what they can do.

So you’ve got your modem installed. Good work. Now all you have to do is sign up with an Internet service provider and you’re good to go. Once you’ve set up an account with an ISP, you can dial straight into the Net whenever you want.

But once you’re connected, you’re on your own. Make sure you have an up-to-date antivirus or you won’t last more than seven minutes. Hackers will take you down faster than Muhammad Ali took down Leon Spinks. The phone bill meter is running, buddy, and there’s no virtual taxi driver in sight to chauffer you round the Internet sights.