Fifteen Most Important Issues To Discuss Before You Become Engaged Or Married

by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD - Date: 2007-02-07 - Word Count: 416 Share This!

In the past three decades, the proportion of those who had never married doubled for women ages 20 to 24, from 36 percent to 73 percent, and more than tripled for women ages 30 to 34, from 6 percent to 22 percent. It would seem that more mature women who are therefore marrying more mature men would ask the questions that would make for a solid long-term relationship.

Relationship experts report that many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before becoming engaged or married. The following questions will ensure that your wedded bliss is off on the right foot.

1) Disclose health histories-spiritual, physical and emotional.

2) Are you equally affectionate to the degree that you desire?

3) Do you comfortably and openly discuss your sexual needs, preferences and fears?

4) Do you truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another's feelings, ideas and concerns?

5) Do you clearly understand each other's spiritual beliefs and needs? Discuss how your children will learn their spiritual beliefs.

6) Do you like and respect each other's friends?

7) Do you value and respect each other's parents? Are either of you concerned about whether the parents will interfere in your relationship?

8) What does her/his family do that annoys you?

9) Are there some things that neither of you are prepared to give up in the marriage? Such as-vacations without the other occasionally, continuing opposite sex friendships, etc.

10) Are your television viewing habits compatible? Will there be a television in the bedroom?

11) Discuss whether or not you want children. If the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? Will the primary care giver also work full or part-time? Ideally how many children would each of you want? Is he willing to share the birth control responsibility?

12) What are your respective financial obligations and goals? Do your ideas about spending and saving mesh? If you both work will you have separate checking accounts and a household account to which you both contribute?

13) Discuss your expectations for how the household will be maintained. Are you in agreement on who will manage what chores? The division of labor can be modified as time passes or as other obligations require an adjustment.

14) If one of you were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other's family, are either of you willing to move?

15) Does each of you feel fully confident in the other's commitment to the relationship? Do you believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges you may face?

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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening.

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