Building Self Esteem: How to Unleash the Power of Affirmations


by Yukio Phillips - Date: 2007-01-04 - Word Count: 385 Share This!

I like myself. I like myself. I like myself!

Hmmm.

I still don't like myself.

I couldn't understand it.

I owned more self help books than Dr. Phil. None of them stopped me from feeling bad about myself. Then I figured it out. I attempted to put a Band-Aid on a gun shot wound.

Let me explain.

My self esteem wound needed more than a band-aid, it needed surgical intervention.

Now don't get me wrong. I believe positive affirmations are powerful when used correctly.

How many affirmations have you written down only to end up in the same place? Are you tired of feeling depressed, hopeless, and searching for answers?

Affirmations aren't effective when you don't know where your low self esteem comes from in the first place.

It's like pouring out a bottle of vodka that belongs to an alcoholic and expecting them to stop being an alcoholic.

What happens? The alcoholic goes back to drinking. Until the alcoholic confronts why they numb the pain, they continue.

Have you ever thought about why you have low self esteem?

Were you abused in your childhood?

Now before you dismiss this idea, hear me out.

Dr. Robin Smith, a psychologist on Oprah, said we need to broaden our definition of abuse. Abuse includes more than being slapped, yelled at, and sexually violated. It includes being teased and put down as a child. Teasing sounds minor to us as adults.

It changes the life of the child.

You may say everyone goes through that.

That's true.

Here's the difference. Your personality make up.

How you internalize teasing differs from person to person.

For example, I was constantly teased in elementary school because I didn't have fashionable clothes like the other kids.

The most stylish kids seemed to have more friends. The teasing continued throughout high school. I internalized those comments. I dealt with the pain by doing things I was not proud of. My spirit cried for acceptance at any cost. The wound that formed in my childhood, stayed open and untreated until recently.

An abusive marriage was my wake up call. Acceptance at any cost was the record that played in my head.

What are you accepting in your life at any cost?

Affirmations won't stick if you don't understand why you feel that way in the first place.

Give yourself the gift of compassion. The past is over. Use today as a gift of power to move forward. You deserve it.


Related Tags: building self esteem, self esteem, low self esteem, self esteem women

Yukio Strachan Phillips is the author of "I will not be broken" How to Shut Down Verbal Abuse and Bring Out Your Inner Diva and Registered Pharmacist with a Doctorate in Pharmacy. As founder of www.boldandworthy.com, her passion is to empower women to identify and shatter false beliefs that keep them in abusive relationships. Her special area of focus is raising awareness of spousal abuse in Church Communities across the world. Her Powerful Ezine, Bold and Worthy, will inspire you to rise above limitations that past experiences have left on today. You can sign up for her ezine at www.boldandworthy.com where you will find her extraordinary book and free 7 day mini-course on the mindset of bold living.

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