Single Parenting - 7 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid With Your Teenager
- Date: 2007-11-09 - Word Count: 587
Share This!
Being a single parent inherently comes with challenges. As a counselor, often single parents ask what mistakes they need to avoid when parenting their teenager. Many single parents are concerned about any consequences of their divorce that could negatively affect their teenager. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:
Mistake 1: Lying to them
Honesty is always best, especially when parenting teenagers. First, today's teenagers are quite savvy and know when they are being conned. Also, dishonesty only destroys trust, which is something that is needed most during this transitional time.
Mistake 2: Avoiding discipline
Wherever there is a lack of any discipline, there is manipulation. Dictionary.com provides this definition of discipline, "Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement." Notice the emphasis on improved character rather than punishment.
Mistake 3: Eliminate any structure or routine
Divorce is a transitional time for everyone involved. Each person's routine is adversely affected. A structured home environment filled with routines and chores provides a sense of order and ownership. This is beneficial particularly if there is chaos resulting from the divorce.
Mistake 4: Forget about them
As a single parent, you are forced to wear many hats and fill many different roles - often simultaneously. In addition, you are in the midst of trying to provide a stable home environment, work full time, and recover from the emotional adjustment of a being a single parent. In the midst of this, I encourage you to find some time to be intentional on spending time with your teenager on a regular basis. Help them to see that you are available to them, and concerned about any needs they may have.
Mistake 5: Continue fighting with your former spouse
If a marital relationship has been turbulent, then many teenagers anticipate a divorce will bring about a much needed sense of peace. However, if conflict continues after divorce has been finalized then your teenager may experience some emotional difficulty adjusting to the divorce. As much as you are able, try to keep any discussions with your former spouse cordial and focused on your teenager.
Mistake 6: Don't get them any outside help
Divorce can affect teenagers in many different ways. Some may open up emotionally and sharing their feelings freely. However, others may withdraw from family and friends and become reclusive. Others may enter into some behavioral problems that may have not been there before. If you have any concerns about how your teenager is recovering from the divorce then I encourage you to seek out a qualified professional counselor.
Mistake 7: Assuming nothing is wrong
Another common parenting mistake is to assume that your teenager has been completely untouched by the divorce. There lives seem undisturbed as if the divorce is a minor incident in the tapestry of their lives. And this is true for many teenagers. However, there are others that will give the appearance that all is well, when in fact the opposite is the case. They may do this to save face for them, or they can react this way to give their parents one less thing to worry about. Communicate with your teenager on an ongoing basis about his/her feelings about their new life and its challenges.
------
Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more! Terre Grable is a licensed professional counselor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.
Mistake 1: Lying to them
Honesty is always best, especially when parenting teenagers. First, today's teenagers are quite savvy and know when they are being conned. Also, dishonesty only destroys trust, which is something that is needed most during this transitional time.
Mistake 2: Avoiding discipline
Wherever there is a lack of any discipline, there is manipulation. Dictionary.com provides this definition of discipline, "Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement." Notice the emphasis on improved character rather than punishment.
Mistake 3: Eliminate any structure or routine
Divorce is a transitional time for everyone involved. Each person's routine is adversely affected. A structured home environment filled with routines and chores provides a sense of order and ownership. This is beneficial particularly if there is chaos resulting from the divorce.
Mistake 4: Forget about them
As a single parent, you are forced to wear many hats and fill many different roles - often simultaneously. In addition, you are in the midst of trying to provide a stable home environment, work full time, and recover from the emotional adjustment of a being a single parent. In the midst of this, I encourage you to find some time to be intentional on spending time with your teenager on a regular basis. Help them to see that you are available to them, and concerned about any needs they may have.
Mistake 5: Continue fighting with your former spouse
If a marital relationship has been turbulent, then many teenagers anticipate a divorce will bring about a much needed sense of peace. However, if conflict continues after divorce has been finalized then your teenager may experience some emotional difficulty adjusting to the divorce. As much as you are able, try to keep any discussions with your former spouse cordial and focused on your teenager.
Mistake 6: Don't get them any outside help
Divorce can affect teenagers in many different ways. Some may open up emotionally and sharing their feelings freely. However, others may withdraw from family and friends and become reclusive. Others may enter into some behavioral problems that may have not been there before. If you have any concerns about how your teenager is recovering from the divorce then I encourage you to seek out a qualified professional counselor.
Mistake 7: Assuming nothing is wrong
Another common parenting mistake is to assume that your teenager has been completely untouched by the divorce. There lives seem undisturbed as if the divorce is a minor incident in the tapestry of their lives. And this is true for many teenagers. However, there are others that will give the appearance that all is well, when in fact the opposite is the case. They may do this to save face for them, or they can react this way to give their parents one less thing to worry about. Communicate with your teenager on an ongoing basis about his/her feelings about their new life and its challenges.
------
Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more! Terre Grable is a licensed professional counselor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.
Related Tags: divorce, parenting teenagers, single parenting, parenting help teenagers, divorce recovery teenagers
Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Important Things to Know About an Assisted Living Residence in Texas
n assisted living residence is a facility designed for senior citizens or persons with disabilities - Understanding How the Probate Process Works
The probate process is required within the U.S. to settle estates of deceased persons. The time requ - Fun Ideas for the Family During the Christmas Holiday
The Yuletide season is one of the most awaited holidays of the year because it is the time for joy a - How To Find The Right Composite Decking Deck Builders
Another rising home improvement project homeowners are starting to do a lot more of is the composite - Every Home Should Have A Radiant Barrier
The most easy and successful home improvement project you can do to your House, would be to install - The Different Types Of Rain Gutters
When purchasing a house or planning to do improvements to a home, there is always one project that s - How To Get The Best Replacement Windows For Your Home
Installing replacement windows can be the single most important home improvement project you can do - Holiday Accommodation Gold Coast: Pointers For Selecting The Best
With a multitude of holiday accommodations in Gold Coast, choosing the one for yourself can be quite - Want Holiday Accommodation In Gold Coast Queensland? Get Online To Find The Best Deal In A Quick, Co
There are several ways to find holiday accommodation in Gold Coast. You may refer to travel guides t - Celebrate The Ten-days Festival Of Navratri.
Dasara known as Dussehra, Navaratri, Vijaya Dashami is a festival of triumph of GOOD over Evil. The
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Adoptees Need Support When Voicing Feelings about Birth Parents
"I feel like a mistake.""I'm not like them.""Where's my family?""Why can't I find a suitable career? - Progressive Cooking: All About 'cuisine'
The French are known for their interest in art and all that is fine. It therefore comes as no surpri - Moroccan Decor - Oh My! Make Your Home Shine With Moroccan Rugs and Tapestries.
It is said in Morocco that he who enters Fez with a rug will leave with a moneybag. This saying o - Online Criminal Background Checks-Importance & Ease
Have you ever thought your new neighbor looks like one of the pictures on the post office bulletin b - Installing A Burglar Alarm
Want to protect your home? Ready to install a burglar alarm? The popularity of the home burglar ala - Lowe's Backyard Playground Sets
Lowe's is an excellent first place to look for anyone who is looking for the best swing sets on the - How Could Short Term Health Insurance Help Me?
Short-term health insurance plans allow people to have health insurance for a limited amount of time - Watch Out For Those Stinky Skunks!
There are various species of skunks found throughout the United States including the striped, spotte - Asthma In Kids: An Increasing Epidemic
Many believe that the majority of asthma cases are confined to adults, but this is definitely an inc - Stairlifts For Riders Of Above Average Weight
A stairlift is an affordable device that is used to give people with limited mobility access to the