One simple prayer I keep on uttering everyday that I can do something good for the mankind before I breathe my last. I like very much to sit in one corner of my room and try to invent new ideas. I know many of them will never be materialized, yet it gives me a lot of pleasure. Not that I never have the desire to move out of my corner at times. I long to go to new places, meet new people, watch their joys and miseries and perhaps also enjoy with them - but not for long durations. My mind behaves more or less like a free bird - take a flight in the open sky and again come down to my warm nest.

The corner of my room I need to calm down myself. Inside me my mind wishes to work alone. Crowd makes me feel disturbed. All my thoughts get scattered and go astray. So I need to be alone at times according to my wish, though not always, to think clearly, to look at my surroundings vividly, to understand nature perfectly, and express my thoughts distinctly. The expressions of my thoughts, it whatever form they be, should reflect the knowledge that I have gained through obeservation and experience and wisdom. I like to have long leisure hours day and night. Not that I do not like company of other people. Only my mind needs some free space to work out things clearly. Possibly at the root of all these lies my ardent desire to serve the God.

I started writing this essay yesterday but somehow I could not proceed further and came to a halt just like a bullock cart with one of its wheels broken. Never mind. I have mended it. I hope to finish this off today. When I feel sad everything becomes too heavy to bear. On the contrary, when I am happy I feel I can pull all the burden myself alone. Then I feel I must do a lot of things for this world and I will surely succeed in my mission. At such times I can see my future self. I can see that I have become old. All my hairs have turned grey and I have reached the end of a somewhat untidy forest. Through the centre of that forest I have made a long path. At the beginning of that path I can vaguely see some people who are about to begin the same journey that I have almost finished. But I surely feel that my mission will be successful. Some people will surely remember my works and deeds. Just then I feel I must keep up my good work. That helps to keep me right on track.

If I get a companion to work with, that would be very nice. Else I have to keep on trying to accomplish my mission alone. Even if I succeed a little in giving something good and everlasting to mankind and reveal the eternal truth, and thereby serve my God, I shall not feel that my life has been wasted.
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