always start by doing the things you are good at. Having a friendly conversation with a neighbor, playing a computer game or perhaps sorting the household accounts. Focus on the things you can do well, and congratulate yourself along the way. For example, I'm really glad I had that little chat with Bill, he was feeling a bit down and it's really cheered him up, I've foiled that alien invasion and saved the world from tyranny, I finished balancing the books quickly and noticed there is some spare cash left over this month so I can treat myself.

Try new things when ever and where ever possible, never say no to anything, within reason. Be different, do things you have never done before. seek out new experiences, learn to mountain bike, take up ice skating or skiing, sign up for an adult education course. Always view your results as a learning experience and never as a win or lose situation.

Encourage yourself to take more risks, people with high self esteem are natural risk takers, yet they also accept that they also sometimes make mistakes. And they treat these as part of their learning curve. So the more mistakes you make the better, it's a sign that you are learning.

Congratulate yourself when you make mistakes, mistakes show us that we are getting better. Ensure you have plenty of treats ready, anything from a night at the theater, a special day out or simply a long leisurely soak in the bath.

Every time you treat yourself you are telling yourself that you are worth it, the more you believe this the better you will treat yourself and the more confident you will become and the more you will do.

Use affirmations, these are positive statements you say to yourself. For example 'I am Mike, I am capable outgoing and loving, I relish all the challenges life has in store for me' Affirmations should be pertinent to you and your present situation, always be in the present tense and include qualities you wish to develop. These will very quickly work their way into your subconscious mind and serve to produce great results.

Always be mindful of what you say to yourself, we all talk to ourselves, whether that be consciously or subconsciously. But there is great danger in negative self talk, it can only serve to badly damage your self confidence.

For example, 'Damn it, I'm so disorganized' as a guide line decide whether you would talk to a friend in this way. Instead, say, under your breath and in a much gentler tone, 'I am usually very well organized but occasionally I slip up' Self talk can work both ways, be kind to yourself and use encouraging self talk.

Always act 'as if' Until you regain the confidence you would like to have you should act and speak as though you already have it. Visualize yourself as a confident person and hold that mental image in your mind, what are you doing, what are you saying.

At some time during the process of acting 'as if' you will realize that you have become the person you wish to be and you will re-discover your self image, the image of who you think you should be.

If it's realistic you will achieve it.