You've just had a great day at work, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and you whisk home to share your day with your spouse, only to find them depressed, negative and basically uninterested in what you have to share with them. In fact, it may even seem as though they're trying to draw attention away from your good day and "steal your thunder" by bringing you intotheir dark world. This is only an example, but there's more here than meets the eye. Read on.

Having a spouse that suffers from depression can be difficult. This is especially true if the other person has never experienced any type of depression. They have no way to really "feel" compassion for their partner nor can they possibly understand what the person is going through.

Here are a few tips that can possibly help you both through these trying times.

#1. When you're having difficulty with your spouses depression you need to look back and remember why you married this person in the first place. What are their good qualities? What made you fall in love with them? They're not depressed all of the time, are they? Don't they still have most of those good qualities?

Although it's not always easy to do, you need to remember that you love this person and anything less than caring and compassion isn't fair to them. Remember your wedding vows "for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, til' death do us part". So many people in todays society "run away" when the going gets tough in a marriage. I highly recommend that you do some soul searching and looking at the good things that your spouse has to offer before you make any rash decisions.

#2. Find time for yourself. Although you do have a responsibility to your partner you also have to maintain your own sanity at the same time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking an hour or two a few times during the week and spending it by yourself or with friends. You must have this time to retreat and regroup and get yourself together. As much as you may love your spouse, this is totally acceptable and recommended. We're all human beings and must take breaks from time to time.

#3. Recommend that your spouse get some type of treatment. This is assuming that they haven't already done so. If this is the case, then they'll need to see the doctor again. It's highly advisable that you go with your spouse to the doctor at least one time. That way the doctor can thoroughly explain what's happening, what you need to be aware of or watch out for, things that you can do to help, side effects of the medications, ect.

The last item "side effects of the medications" is particularly important for the spouse to understand. One of these side effects may be a lack of desire, interest or ability to have sex. As their partner, it would be very easy to take this personally, but you need to understand that it's not you, but your partner's mental state, combined with the medication that they're taking. As difficult as this may seem you need to keep in mind that this is a temporary thing and that "roses will bloom again" between you two.

#4. Be compassionate, but don't enable them. This is not meant to be cruel, but you need to be certain that they really need your help or they could become dependent on you.

This is a very fragile thing and you must be extremely careful in order not to hurt their feelings and upset them even more, but they need to begin to get back on their feet as soon as possible. Here are a few things to look for.

They were able to take care of themselves fine all day long while you were at work, but now that you're home they need everything done for them. Or, you see them perform a simple task fine, but the next time that it needs to be done they want you to do it.

Once again, this is a very fragile situation and can cause feelings to be hurt badly, but it's also important that you not let this get out of hand. This is called "enabling" and it's not helping them or you. Granted, there are going to be times when your spouse is going to depend on you for many things, but there's going to come a point when they need to try and get back on their feet. You really should not speak to them about this before consulting their doctor. This way you are not perceived as the "bad guy".

#5. Always let them know that you love them. Always give them the benefit of the doubt. They're your life partner and deserve nothing less from you.