Trouble Synchronizing Orgasms
- Date: 2007-04-03 - Word Count: 280
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Question to Spicy Gear's Experts - My husband and I have been having trouble synchronizing our orgasms. We didn't used to have this problem. It takes me a really long time to have an orgasm and he is super fast. It's to the point that I can't even move during sex or else he will ejaculate, he gets so aroused that he tries to take his mind off from sex and won't even look at me. This makes me uncomfortable and turns me off. How can I speed up my orgasms so we can start having sex together again instead of being together but enjoying it separately?
Having orgasms simultaneously is just great! But making this a goal tends to become a problem, because the timing of orgasms, for both men and women, is determined by many variable factors. So my strongest advice is to learn to enjoy orgasming whenever it happens. And if your husband climaxes ahead of you, ask him to look at you, have his orgasm with you enjoying his pleasure, and then to assist you in coming to your climax. Having said that, on his side, there are some methods he can use to learn to delay his ejaculation, and perhaps you should ask him to find a certified Sex Therapist who can help him accomplish this. On your side, trying to speed up your orgasms is not a realistic strategy because, as many women know, focusing your mind on wanting to have an orgasm almost always makes orgasming more difficult. Let your sex life, and your partner's, be pleasure?focused and beware of becoming goal?oriented.
Question answered by Spicy Gear's Sex Therapist Barnaby B. Barratt, PhD, DHS, FAPA, ABPP
Having orgasms simultaneously is just great! But making this a goal tends to become a problem, because the timing of orgasms, for both men and women, is determined by many variable factors. So my strongest advice is to learn to enjoy orgasming whenever it happens. And if your husband climaxes ahead of you, ask him to look at you, have his orgasm with you enjoying his pleasure, and then to assist you in coming to your climax. Having said that, on his side, there are some methods he can use to learn to delay his ejaculation, and perhaps you should ask him to find a certified Sex Therapist who can help him accomplish this. On your side, trying to speed up your orgasms is not a realistic strategy because, as many women know, focusing your mind on wanting to have an orgasm almost always makes orgasming more difficult. Let your sex life, and your partner's, be pleasure?focused and beware of becoming goal?oriented.
Question answered by Spicy Gear's Sex Therapist Barnaby B. Barratt, PhD, DHS, FAPA, ABPP
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