There is absolutely tons of advice out there that will point you in the right direction if you just went though a breakup and still desire to get your boyfriend or husband back. Most of this advice goes completely against your instincts. Have you wondered what might happen if you followed your heart? See if you can identify with the tips below and see if you are working to drive him away or get him back.

Call Him Every Day - If you want to appear weak and desperate be sure to call him or text message him every day. Be sure to keep up your vigil over the weekends and holidays so you can be sure that he never forgets about you and he knows that you haven't gone anywhere. Be sure to leave him lengthy voice mail message telling him that you will wait forever if need be and that you're depressed, not eating or sleeping also.

Calling him every day is the sure cure for any sort of fondness that he might hold for you and is the steady diet of poison for your relationship if you hope to kill any hope of getting your ex back. A few weeks to a month of this will secure your place in his list of crazy women he dated while boosting his self esteem that he must really be something if you completely fall apart after the breakup. Inversely, if you stop talking to him he may eventually miss you and begin to wonder if he made the right move by breaking up with you.

Tell Him You Need Closure - He has told you that he doesn't want to see you or live with you any more. But you need closure, right? Perhaps your therapist or your friends are telling you that you need this "closure" thing to help you move on. Even though you might still want to get him back you need closure. Even though you have no desire to move on and still have hope for reconciliation you want closure?

Just a tip… closure is for several years down the road when you are in another relationship with a guy that really loves you and you want all your cd's and personal belongings back.

Want To Talk About The Breakup - Calling him or stopping by his house to "talk about the breakup" is a great way to kill any sort of warm fuzzy feelings that he might still have for you or that he might have for you in the future. Guys just love talking about the breakup and the reasons why they broke up with you. It makes for some enlightening conversation and who knows, you might even be able to convince him that he was wrong!

The fact is that guys hate talking about this stuff and chances are that you don't need to hear all the lame excuses for why he broke up with you. But digging up all this garbage is another sure way of nailing the lid on the coffin of your relationship if that is your desire.

Tell Him You Love Him - Nothing says "needy" or sounds quite as pathetic as saying that you still love him. There is no silence quite as deafening as the silence directly after lobbing that "I love you" softball out there for him to hit and not hearing the swing of his bat other than perhaps the "ummmm, yeah" of him avoiding saying those three words that you want to hear so badly.

What is inversely true of all of the points made above is that if you do desire to get him back you can stop calling him, show no desire to talk about the breakup, don't ask for closure and never, and I mean never say "I love you" until he says it first.

The simple fact is that he loved you once. You stand a pretty good chance of getting him back again if that truly is your desire. You stand a better chance statistically of winning his heart than any other woman out there. Don't let this breakup determine your self worth. You deserve to be happy and loved and desired and with a little patience and some good advice you can have the relationship of your dreams with any man that you desire. Take some time to step back, really love yourself and you will be well on your way down the road to the relationship of your dreams.