Small Talk Savvy - Don't Get Hung Up On Three Common Misconceptions
Misconception #1: If you aren't born with the gift of gab you'll never catch up. Fortunately this is not true.
When you're a little uncertain socially, it's so easy to get wrapped up in your own perceived weaknesses. Yet, here's the key to success: Just bring a positive, focused energy into a room.
Small talk is ruled by people who make others comfortable. Small talk is nourished by sincere interest. Everyone can show curiosity. We can all try to be more aware of how other people are feeling and respond to that. Determine the attitude that you bring to your interactions and the rest is secondary.
Misconception #2: The first impression is everything. The first impression is only the first thing.
In most social situations you can make up for a shaky start in several ways. Get people to talk about themselves. That gives you time to regroup. Be complimentary - about clothes, jewelry, line of business, etc. This usually changes the energy for the better. Be a really good listener. People need to feel they are being heard. Any of these things can result in a positive walk-away impression.
Misconception #3: Everything you say has to be riveting. Wow, what a lot of unnecessary pressure. People almost expect small talk to be a little awkward -- that's why so many people talk about the weather. And, that's ok. Accept a little awkwardness and have faith that your conversation will get off the ground.
At heart, effective small talk is about generosity and being open to the possibilities that lie in connecting with another human. It's about offering sincerity and warmth. Think of it as simple exploration. Don't make it too complicated. Find out what others do, why they do it, how they got started, their goals.
Know what interests you, too, and be sure to reveal a bit about yourself. Don't try to control too much or change the subject too often. Stay focused and engaged in one or two topics and you're golden.
Related Tags: networking, small talk, business social skills, interpersonal communications, successful interaction
Melissa Wadsworth is a conscious communications expert and the author of Small Talk Savvy (a Borders bookstores exclusive). She speaks on this topic to business groups and also uses her 20 plus years as a PR professional to create dynamic and effective PR/Marketing copy for clients. Learn more by visiting her at http://www.melissawadsworth.com If you contact her and mention this article she will email you her "Top Ten PR Tips."
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