Writing A Great Opening Online Dating Email - 5 Great Tips


by Ryan Newman - Date: 2010-09-06 - Word Count: 579 Share This!

So you've found the right type of online dating site for what you're looking for, you've spent time on your profile, maybe even shown it to a few friends or consulted an expert. You've since looked through pages of members' dating profiles and found a few people you're interested in. You're at your PC ready to make contact but you end up staring at a blank email for 30 minutes, completely at a loss as to what to write. Creating the right effect and tone in an introductory online dating email is one of the trickier parts of online dating, as unlike face to face or the phone, email doesn't allow for nuance. To that end here are some tips to help you construct that first great introductory email

1) Don't send a template email:
Writing 'hey, you seem nice and I like your profile'' may seem inoffensive and neutral but that's exactly the problem. Some women sites receive 30+ emails every day, unless you look like Brad Pitt why should they respond to someone who's sent out a template email and made such little effort. People want to know that you've actually read their profile and you're not just using an robot to send out 50+ emails an evening.

2) Create commonality from their profile:
Pick something out from the person's profile, and reflect it back. This shows that you've read his/her profile as well as creating a certain commonality between the two of you. If he/she travelled to India you could say (jokingly) how jealous you are, and how this is on your next trip list. At the same time though don't make it sound like you're trying too hard; if he/she likes ''Sunday evenings with an Indian takeaway and a Woody Allen movie'', saying that Indian is also your favorite food, and Wood Allen your favorite director sounds like you are just brown nosing.

3) Use of the subject line:
Just saying 'hi' or the variant 'hey' is a wasted opportunity to get your emails opened. You can create interest by using the subject line to reference something you're going to mention in the email, or you can try and be clever or make a tease, such as ''I agree with what you said about….''. If none of this is you though you can at least personalize the email by using the person's dating handle in the subject line. What do you think will get the better response, ''hey Juliel100'' or ''hi''?!

4) Don't write an essay:
You want to create interest and leave things for future communication so don't write a 500 word declaration of compatibility; the email should be brief and informal, somewhere between 3-5 sentences and not overly wordy. At the same time though avoid internet slang - ''lol'' ''tomoz'' etc which veer too far to the other side of informality.

5) Give the person a reason to write back:
If you don't give the person you write to a reason to write back, or at least present a call to action, your chances of getting a reply will massively decrease. You can pick something up from their profile, or their photo to create a question, whilst to sign off your email you can say that you hope to hear from them, or that it'd be great to speak.

Writing good opening online dating emails does take a bit of practice, but using the tips above as a starting point you will soon find your own style, writing sharp, breezy emails which generate great responses.

Related Tags: writing, dating, online, email

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