The decision to confront an alcoholic is never an easy one to make. The most important thing is you should never attempt it when the alcoholic is currently under the influence of alcohol. The confrontation should be planned when he or she is sober. Confronting an alcoholic is sometimes called an intervention and must be carefully planned according to recommended expert guidelines, preferably those issued by a knowledgeable organization like Al-Anon which is the support group for family members of alcoholics. Also, prior to confronting an alcoholic, you should check with the person's doctor or a specialist in treating alcoholic disorders to determine how to prepare yourself and any others who might be helping you to confront a drinker about whom you are concerned. We have listed nine tips that may be helpful in preparing for an intervention.

Take the advice of experts available in your area such as Al-Anon instead of creating your own intervention plan. These experts will guide you in how to handle the intervention and can also provide you and the person I question with useful resources and information. If organizations like Al-Anon are not available in your community, seek the assistance of a licensed therapist, counselor or psychologist to uncover the heart of the problem and how to approach the subject. While confronting an alcoholic can have similarities from family to family, make sure to express any distinctive situations or personal characteristics that may affect the end result.

It can be tempting to criticize the alcoholic for being intoxicated yet again when someone you care about comes home drunk. This does not help the situation as the drunk will usually tune out the criticism for the time being, or forget about it the next day, when sober, and thus be unable to do anything about it. It is vital to talk to the person when they are sober, and hopefully in a reasonable frame of mind to hear your concerns. If you find that no spontaneous opportunities occur, you can attempt to schedule a talk after dinner or at another time when the two of you can be uninterrupted.

Your supporters can be other relatives, close friends, or even members of Al-Anon with whom you have become acquainted, since they may have been in similar circumstances as you at some point. They may even decide to join you in confronting the alcoholic in your family. But that will depend on you and the circumstances surrounding the person who drinks too much, as well as professional opinions about the situation.

When confronting an alcoholic, you can't afford to be wishy-washy or indirect. Using a factual tone of voice, simply lay out the problematic situation, using examples of the drunkard's problem behavior and ensuing results. You may need to list dates, frequency of bad behavior, amounts of alcohol consumed or sums of money spent on drinking, and other data to support your claims. It takes courage to confront an alcoholic, so don't back down. If the alcoholic argues with you, remain calm and point to the facts.

People often enable an alcoholic, allowing him or her to stay in that way by letting them sidestep responsibility and manipulate others to ignore his misdeeds or cover for him at work or in public. If you are one of the enablers the alcoholic may assume he can have his way again to get out of the intervention without making any changes. A huge part of an intervention's potential for success is the family member who arranges it being able to change, too. A person who wants to help must not continue to enable the alcoholic to abuse alcohol. Stand your ground and most importantly, don't let the alcoholic bully or wheedle you into giving up.

Along with confronting the drinker with the effects of his behavior, comes the importance for a recovery plan. Arrangements for rehabilitation program either onsite or as an outpatient at a local clinic or support group can be made with the help of an organization such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon or a family doctor. Halfway houses are even available if found to be a viable alternative. Check first to see is a certain detoxification program will accept the alcoholic you are helping and take the beginning steps for the person to be admitted without any delay after the intervention. When choosing a program, make sure to convey that you cannot guarantee the drinker will not only enroll but stick to the program unless he accepts the program as a part of a new alcohol free life.

It is an emotional process and if the alcoholic agrees to go into a rehab facility, friends and family must provide support and encouragement during the detoxification phase and rehabilitation program, which often involves patient and family counseling. Rehab can last anywhere between several days to several months. In general, most programs last 28 days or less, given our job and family responsibilities, and in some cases the rehabilitators can continue as a non-resident while resuming career and household responsibilities. Whichever way the program plays out, love, acceptance, and willingness to support changes in lifestyle can go a long way toward helping the alcoholic become successful in kicking the alcohol habit.

As I mentioned above briefly, family members who are living with an alcoholic must also be willing to take responsibility for their own behavior and make any necessary changes, as well. Some required adjustments might include refusing to cover for an alcoholic's inability to go to work by reporting him absent, paying bills that the drinker should pay when he has spent his paycheck for alcoholic beverages, and letting the drunkard abuse or terrorize the family by acts of recklessness or violence. It is not surprising that sobriety can actually make life harder for the drinker and his family as everyone adjusts to new rules and learns how to follow through consistently. Some alcoholics can be ill- tempered, demanding, and peevish, while others may act guilty, embarrassed, or repentant.

After confronting an alcoholic, results may not appear automatically. The drinker may vacillate between agreeing to rehab and resisting it, or he may enter rehab but leave early or fall off the wagon after completing the program. Nothing is guaranteed. After confronting an alcoholic, all you can do is continue to hold your line and wait for the drinker's response. That alone will determine the outcome of your intervention. If the drinker opts not to continue treatment or it proves unsuccessful, the family should continue to receive counseling and support as they make decisions about the future.

Living with an alcoholic is one of the hardest things to do. Their uncontrolled drinking causes problems that can affect family members and other people. It can be difficult for relatives to dissociate themselves from the drinker and establish effective boundaries between his behavior and theirs to avoid unhealthy enmeshment. But with education, professional support, and courageous conviction, family members can learn to practice tough love when confronting an alcoholic to give that person a fair shot at recovery. An intervention may be the first step toward acknowledging a problem and doing something about it that can make a positive difference in the lives of a problem drinker and his loved ones.