Recently, some of the conversations I have been having around this question have confirmed that partnerships are indeed what YOU make them. In particular, I have come across an approach to creating partnerships that I believe holds the key to success in business or personal relationships.

The basic premise of this view is that partnerships will most likely fail unless a thorough and legal written agreement is created by the partners and a lawyer. The document must contain specifics and tangibles such as the responsibilities of each partner, business breakdown and exit strategy - all the terms agreed upon by the partners. In addition, it is essential to have partnership insurance so that if a partner dies, it is clear how their shares will be handled as well as what the involvement of their estate or heirs will be.

While I agree that it is essential that partners are both satisfied and secure, I also know that like attracts like.

The partnering experience of someone who holds this view is rarely positive. Unfortunately, the usual story of broken partnerships is that the relationship ended because of a disagreement or misunderstanding. In addition to this disappointment and frustration, many hours are spent in court rooms battling for a resolution. And unexpected legal fees have usually been incurred. These fees can, in some situations, change the course of a person's career or financial future.

So it is easy to see how failed relationships can seed fear in hearts. This fear usually leads to an overwhelming emphasis on security concerns. And before long, all partnerships are assumed to be something to be protected from rather than embraced and celebrated. In other words, safety becomes the priority rather than relationship.

Most of us would rather live lives that are free of fear and this kind of strife. So how can we avoid creating fear-dominated partnerships? Is it even possible?

I believe it is. And the reason is that I believe we have a CHOICE as to how we respond to the things that happen in our lives. Although often very difficult, it is possible to choose to act out of love, rather than out of fear.

Knowing that this is possible, here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Focus on what you want rather than on what can go wrong. If you do this, you are more likely reach what you desire because you will be clearly aware of your goals. (It is not wise to enter into any partnership until you are personally clear on what kinds of people characteristics, skill level, and attitude you are looking for. This is the best way to ensure that you keep your integrity and character, and that you do not compromise your values.) To do this, write it out your plan of action.

• BE the partner you want to have. Make a decision to grow into the person that you want to attract as a partner. If you have the integrity and character you are looking for in others, you will attract them much more readily. What a great way to honor your partnerships!

• View the partnerships rules, agreements and strategies as tools; and not substitutes for relationship. If you approach them as tools, they will not become more important than the people that you are working with. Your ability to relate to others is the most important skill in successful partnerships.

• Accept the responsibility of creating and nurturing a successful partnership rather than placing it on the written agreement. It is YOUR responsibility. The agreement is only as empowered, mature and strong as the people who put it together.

Once you are clear about what you want, and are living it in your own life, then begin to look for your partner. If you think you have found someone who might be a fit, sit down with them over coffee and talk over your wants and desires. If the person seems to be a suitable candidate, confirm it by requesting that they write out their own desires/goals. Once you have confirmed that someone is a partnership fit, determine if a lawyer is necessary to firm the agreement, (this step usually depends on the characteristics in a partner you are looking for. If you want someone who believes that a signed contract is they're word of honor, a lawyer may not necessary. Use your discretion here.)

The keys to the long lasting and successful partnerships have been:

• Partners who are each personally clear about what they want, and who is to take responsibility for attaining it.

• Partners who practice what they value.

• Partners who remember that relationships are dynamic, that they change over time and are willing to renegotiate if there are changes.

• Partners who communicate with honesty and clarity.

• Partners who, in the event of a dispute, will refer to their partnership agreement and not go from memory. (BEING the partner you want BEFORE entering the partnerships does NOT guarantee that there will not be any disagreements. However, if the relationship is based on trust and authenticity, there is a much greater probability that the partners will be able to work things through quickly and effectively).

So yes, I believe that you can recognize a suitable partner just by becoming aware of what you are looking for. By BEING a person of character and integrity, I believe the community you help to create will be undeniably profound and positively impacting.