It's About Connection! Not Conflict Resolution
Intense efforts to apply conventional tools of "healthy" relationships frequently lead to doubt about the future of the relationship. Most suggestions for listening skills and fair fighting work if both individuals are calm and in a rational frame of mind. However, this is rarely the case when couples cross over into the heat of battle. When tempers are hot and feelings have been hurt, they typically get little results with the application of traditionally taught methods. Fiery couples or what I call "passionate" couples become very discouraged when they try the generally taught techniques and they do not work. They start to doubt their ability to ever turn the relationship around. They question whether they should even be together.
Embrace the feel that you and your partner will never achieve an absence of conflict.
Happiness is not the absence of conflict. Great partners understand this, so instead they focus more on connectedness.
Your ability to feel close to your partner is more important than seeing eye-to-eye on all matters. You need to strive towards connection even in the midst of battle and hurt feelings. This is possible and much easier than you may expect. I have lived in areas that regularly had tornados come through. I remember sitting in the hallway holding hands and quietly waiting for the black cloud to pass on by. I keep this image in mind during the hard times. You need to stay connected with your partner until the storm passes on by.
Related Tags: tips, advice, marriage, relationship, specialist, husband, strategies, mark webb, wife, valdosta
Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb's "Relationship Strategies" Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com
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