Your Son
From the earliest, he was like you but unlike you. After all, he came into a world far different from you. He didn't ask to be born. In fact, he didn't ask for any of this. he just was and is. In many ways, it is a miracle that he is here.
A son is a gift not to be taken lightly. You are an honored guest as he progresses through his early years. You may be the one to hear him say his first word, open his first door, say his first sentence and give you a hug for the first time. He will amaze, startle, anger, impress and reject you all in the same day. He will be a pleasure and an enigma for all the time that you know him: for his world is not your world; his thoughts are not your thoughts.
Nevertheless, you will be in agreement with him on many things; oppose other patterns. As a father, you should be more of a catalyst than a director, more of a mentor than a commander... more of a supporter than a pusher. It will be hard for you at times. It it certainly will be difficult for him at times, also.
What you want for your son may not be what your son wants for himself. You can push and make your son a mediocre doctor or lawyer. At the same time, you can rob the world of a great artist or writer. Your son should be able to live his life and not replicate your profession unless he is motivated to do so.
His selections, his journey will be difficult for him, at times. Remember, the butterfly will be crippled if someone helps it out of the chrysalis.
Father and son have an unspoken contract. In my opinion, you should never abandon your son regardless of what has happened. He needs you when he says he doesn't, he respects you even when he hates you, he requires you even when he says the opposite. Stay with this part of you through all. If you don't, who will be his influence? Who will care? Who will love him?
And your life goes on, warts and all, as your son develops. Keep yourself in check and from those obstacles to family and love-e.g.-bad habits, drinking, anger, deeply displayed frustration..cursing. Let none of those things interfere with your relationship with your son. As he is not perfect, neither are you. It's a hard pill for a father..but sometimes it's your fault!
Time will march on and leave a trail of memories, good and bad. Enjoy the relationship you have with a son.
It is a gift beyond price.
(c)2007 Gene Smith
Related Tags: relationships, home, family, memories, perspective on family, communicating with siblings
Gene Smith is an author and international songwriter from West Virginia. He hold a B.A. and is a Former Fellow of the International Society For Philosophical Enquiry. He has contributed work to the World Peace Prayer Society. He lives near Charles Town.
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