Jack was having lunch in the local diner. Some of his buddies were eating with him and a few other people listened in on the conversation. Jack appears wise. He's not only street smart but he knows the exact strategies that our president should use to bring the desired results for the country. And if you forget to ask him about our young people, their problems and the problems with teachers, administrators and the education system wait a few minutes and he will give you the skinny on that too.

This guy is all too wise and has an opinion on everything, everybody and the reasons why the world including countries, governments and parents are not doing it right. After all, he is quite sure that 'he' knows the correct cognitive and behavioral justifications why things could work if only people would just listen and adhere to his awesome wisdom.

As the luncheon conversation continue heated rebuttals ensue, laughter roars and others have their own ideas. Some agree but not everyone acquiesces to his way of seeing the world.

We each think that we know what is right from what is wrong. We pride ourselves on being politically correct, knowing what the Bible says is right and believing in the sacred words of Jesus. We know who the crooked politicians are and the insane results in the world as a result of its sinister ways.

I know that we've met this guy in the diner, at a party, a business meeting or perhaps at a social event. You may even be sleeping with this guy. You know who I'm talking about. Who knows, you might even 'be' this guy. What do you think? Is he closer than hands and feet? Closer than breathing? Yep, I think s/he may be closer than you think.

We know the dominant types who give orders, tell others what to do and what to think. They have a monopoly on the truth in their own minds. They criticize, judge and make you wrong at the least provocation. They strut their superiority and prance in arrogance to the march of their own inner drummer. This may be the extreme 'guy in the diner' type.

What is fascinating is that to some degree we are all the guy in the diner. We are saturated with our treasured opinions, positions and judgments. We actually know what's wrong with most of the people in our lives and wonder why they don't act saner, more reasonable and listen and respond more positively to our advice. "How can they be so blind?" We wonder.

I know Christian folk and some family members who rarely give each other the time of day. They serve in their respective churches often in the same church yet they hold a rigid position in their minds against a brother or sister. What does it take for us to get off of being right? Can we settle for being happy? Can we let those in our lives, family, spouse, children have their own opinions? Can we even allow others to make their own mistakes? Can we let go and let God do the judging, evaluating, and punishing if that be the case?

What we often don't understand is that everyone is seeing the world and situations through their own filters of experience or lack of experience and knowledge. We each have our own type of tunnel vision. We don't get the full picture. Instead of inserting our opinions on how others should think and behave we can use these distractions as an opportunity to face our own demons. We can actually use the very situations that annoy us to heal a part of ourselves. For example, when my husband doesn't listen to me, I can use this to learn to forgive people who don't listen well. As I do that I get in touch with the part of me that does not listen well either. As I heal the boulder in my eye I will see others more clearly. I will find others behaving differently or I will behave differently when they are just being who they are being. So often I remind myself to not expect a drunk man to be sober.

The lesson for each of us is to hold our own beliefs, opinions, judgments and criticisms more loosely. Don't expect others to conform to our way of thinking. Let it be okay for others to hold opposite and different views. Give up being the guy in the diner.

Our job is to keep doing our inner work on forgiving so that we can be healed through the very process of loving others just the way they are or are not.