10 Top Habits of Recovering Porn Addicts


by Tess Marshall - Date: 2006-12-28 - Word Count: 928 Share This!

1. Establish a relationship with a Higher Power. Recovering porn addicts know that they can't heal on their own and surrender to a power greater than themselves for help. For some the Higher Power is God, for others its nature or the collective strength of all people in recovery.

2. Pray. The serenity prayer is a common but powerful prayer in recovery. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Pray and expect miracles!

3. Read Recovery Literature. For example, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, S-Anon Twelve Steps, and the S-Anon Program. Successful people read everyday. If you don't think you have time leave a book in the bathroom. You will be in there regularly!

4. Get professional help. It's necessary to delve into family of origin issues. Most grow up in dysfunctional families where adequate nurturing and love aren't provided. Often parents themselves are alcoholics or sex addicts and are physically, sexually or emotionally abusive.

When parents aren't available to meet the emotional needs of children they discover how to soothe their own pain with compulsive behavior and substance abuse. They grow up believing they are unlovable and unworthy. Counseling provides the healing needed to live porn free.

5. Attend 12-step meetings. Meetings allow you to see that you don't suffer alone. Others are experiencing the same addiction and the same pain.

Meetings allow you to be honest with yourself and others. Meetings provide camaraderie. You will find support, encouragement and praise for your efforts. The relationships you build are what you need to live a live of sobriety. You cannot and will not heal on your own.

6. Obtain accountability partners. It's necessary to find accountability partners who you can call and check in with. You call them to tell them your doing great and you call them when you are tempted to act out. What you say is confidential. Your accountability partners will listen and understand in a non-judgmental manner.

7. Delete and destroy all porn and anything to do with porn addiction both online and off. It all goes: DVDs, CDs, all materials stored on your hard drive, magazines, written addresses, and telephone numbers from toxic relationships.

It's also necessary to eliminate cable television and to stop any illegal activities. Block 900 numbers and rid your home and car of anything and everything that is harmful.

The Internet is the biggest threat to your recovery. If you don't need a computer for work get rid of it? At least stop using it for the next 90 days. Sounds extreme? Your life depends on it! If work involves a computer get accountability software and at home place your computer in an open space.

8. Reprogram the brain. Each time an addict views, masturbates and fantasizes with porn he/she sends a rush of mood altering chemicals called adrenaline, epinephrine and endorphins to the brain.

The brain likes this "rush" because it feels good. Eventually after frequently acting out the porn addict develops neurological pathways in the brain. The chemicals burn mind pornographic images into the mind. One reason porn is so difficult to quit is because the images are difficult to erase. The images are reinforced every time they are remembered or further acting out occurs.

9. Learn how to talk, trust and feel. Children in dysfunctional families are not taught or allowed to talk, trust and feel. In recovery you will learn how to talk about what is going on, you will learn to identify and feel emotions. You will build trust one step at a time. Porn isn't the problem it's a symptom. Porn is used to "numb pain."

As you learn how to talk, trust and feel you learn and become comfortable with intimacy. You have a way to deal with the pain of being human.

10. Have a Relapse Plan. Recovery is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Relapsing isn't failure it's a set back. A good prevention plan will cover behavior and thinking.

A plan for relapse includes identifying warning signs and making a solid plan to interrupt the events leading up to acting out. Practice responding differently to triggers and warning signs until they become a habit.

It's necessary to know the people, places and things to avoid and to establish new people, places and things for healthy interactions.

Tools for relapse include honesty, meetings, other support groups, calling and connecting with group members, obtaining a sponsor and accountability partners. This provides a support system that needed to attain and maintain a sober life style.

Porn gives you a false sense of love and acceptance. Only face-to-face relationships can provide the lasting happiness you yearn for and deserve.

Turning to porn is easy. Getting instant gratification from masturbation is easy. Being a slacker is easy.

Kicking porn involves life changing action. Giving up your porn addiction is a decision you must make. One you'll never regret.

Tess Marshall's goal is to help you kick your porn addiction and live a happy and successful life As a therapist, coach and professional speaker with a master's degree in counseling psychology she offers fifteen years plus of study, research and experience. Tess has helped 100's of people grow personally, build authentic relationships, kick habits and addictions allowing them to live successful and happy lives. You can find her ebook, "Kick Porn: Spiritual Power Practices for a New Life" at Confidentail help for porn addiction.com,/a> and visit her blog at http://www.Kickpornblog.com Submit your articles to AMAZINES.COM


Related Tags: porn addiction, porn addict, online porn addiction, sex addict, sex addiction

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