This is a New Year's reality check for relationship seekers. Many clients start conversations with me by emphatically stating what they WILL NOT DO. Okay, I understand. There are some dating avenues that you don't like, feel fearful about, hate the idea of, etc. So let's get down to the nitty gritty - what are you willing to do?

That's why this article addresses negativity about dating - to open your mind, your heart and your eyes to the possibilities! I always say "People fall in love every day." because its true. But 99.99%, of the people who find love have actively pursued it.

I'm a hopeless romantic. Not the mushy stuff, but romantic in firmly believing that anyone who truly desires a loving relationship CAN FIND ONE! It all boils down to three core questions:
1) Do you feel lovable and available to date?
2) What is your attitude about dating and the opposite sex?
3) What will you do to meet new people and how often?

Here's a short list of attitudes that can sabotage your love life. If you hold any of these, your ability to romantically connect may be impacted because they relate directly to the three core questions. But, please keep in mind you have the power to overcome any of these obstacles.

1. Half of American adults are single, but only 16% are willing to do anything about it. Where do you fall in this statistic? These singles aren't opposed to love -they just hope Mr./Ms. Charming will magically show up. Face it -if you want to find love, you'll have to take action.

2. The Internet is not for me. Really? More than 50 million people log on for love every month. It's no longer a creepy option for desperados, but something reported on by the Wall Street Journal. Get over it and get on it. A Justice of the Peace recently took my "Finding Love Online" workshop because most of her clients have met online.

3. All men/women only want one thing. Total nonsense. All men are not womanizers and all women are not gold diggers. These stereotypes do nothing but keep you single. With such an enormous single population, there are plenty of "normal" people who do in fact want a committed relationship.

4. I really want to find love, but right now I'm busy. Everyone has several life priorities. But if love is one of them, NOW is the moment of power. Waiting until you get organized, promoted, settled, lose weight, etc. simply puts off the possibility. The busy-ness is rampant among accomplished professionals who don't make time for a social life. The choice is yours - more work or potential pleasure?

5. I need a trophy wife/rich husband. A man may want a woman 10-20 years younger, but will she want him? And women may want a rich man, but does that guarantee a good relationship? Of course you have to be attracted to the person and you should be selective. But, if you rarely meet anyone who floats your boat, wake up and smell the coffee that you are keeping yourself single with your requirements. The more realistic you can be, the more likely you are to find a loving partner.

6. I'm too shy for single events. Single events are the best place to meet new people. Why? Because attendees have self-qualified! They are single, they are looking and they are all in one place! That's so much better than going to a bar. Instead, go where the fishing is good - at dances, singles groups like Parents Without Partners or singles hiking groups to name just a few.

Don't let these attitudes sabotage your love life. Shake yourself free from these limiting beliefs to find the love you want in 2007. You deserve it.