What are You Attracting? Do This Exercise to Examine Your Relationship Behavior
- Date: 2007-06-18 - Word Count: 396
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What you believe about yourself is what you'll attract to yourself. If you believe that you are a person who deserves to be treated well by others, you'll attract kindness. If you believe you're not really worthy of being treated well, you'll attract people who will harm you.
Think about your past relationships. Were they positive or negative experiences? If they were negative, think about what you believed about yourself at the time.
- Did you stay in an abusive situation because you thought you would never find someone else?
- Did you keep telling yourself that maybe things would change for the better?
- Did you convince yourself that you weren't important enough to express your opinions? Were you afraid to?
- Did you believe it wasn't so bad?
- Did you stay because the sex was good, even though you fought constantly otherwise, convincing yourself that it was love?
- Did you feel like you couldn't live without that person?
I challenge you to examine your beliefs. The beliefs you hold about yourself are the keys to why you may be attracting the wrong kind of person. Dig deep and look at your beliefs. Maybe it's time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of the negative thoughts that have held you back from finding the love of your life.
Do this exercise to look at what you are attracting. Think of all of your past relationships. Use one piece of paper (more if needed) for each person. Put each person's name at the top of the paper and list the following:
How did you meet?
How long did you know each other before you were intimate?
What did you used to argue about most frequently?
Personality traits (yours and your former partner's)
Problem behaviors (addictions, infidelities, jealousy, violent behaviors, etc.)
There are many more things you could write, of course, but this will get you started. After you've finished writing, compare the relationships. Notice what you were attracting. Notice the similarities and differences. Chances are, you will find you have behaved similarly and attracted similar people each time. This is powerful because once you identify what you've been doing, you can change it. You may need to consult with a relationship coach or counselor to help you change these patterns and that's all right. You've already started to change the pattern just by acknowledging it. I wish you the best of success in attracting the relationship you want into your life!
Think about your past relationships. Were they positive or negative experiences? If they were negative, think about what you believed about yourself at the time.
- Did you stay in an abusive situation because you thought you would never find someone else?
- Did you keep telling yourself that maybe things would change for the better?
- Did you convince yourself that you weren't important enough to express your opinions? Were you afraid to?
- Did you believe it wasn't so bad?
- Did you stay because the sex was good, even though you fought constantly otherwise, convincing yourself that it was love?
- Did you feel like you couldn't live without that person?
I challenge you to examine your beliefs. The beliefs you hold about yourself are the keys to why you may be attracting the wrong kind of person. Dig deep and look at your beliefs. Maybe it's time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of the negative thoughts that have held you back from finding the love of your life.
Do this exercise to look at what you are attracting. Think of all of your past relationships. Use one piece of paper (more if needed) for each person. Put each person's name at the top of the paper and list the following:
How did you meet?
How long did you know each other before you were intimate?
What did you used to argue about most frequently?
Personality traits (yours and your former partner's)
Problem behaviors (addictions, infidelities, jealousy, violent behaviors, etc.)
There are many more things you could write, of course, but this will get you started. After you've finished writing, compare the relationships. Notice what you were attracting. Notice the similarities and differences. Chances are, you will find you have behaved similarly and attracted similar people each time. This is powerful because once you identify what you've been doing, you can change it. You may need to consult with a relationship coach or counselor to help you change these patterns and that's all right. You've already started to change the pattern just by acknowledging it. I wish you the best of success in attracting the relationship you want into your life!
Related Tags: relationships, attraction, choices, changing beliefs, self-worth, relationship success, examining beliefs
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