Current Affairs, The USSR Is Dead. Long Live The USSA


by DAVID LOVATTSMITH - Date: 2008-09-17 - Word Count: 449 Share This!

The United Socialist States of America, that is.

Karl Marks, Leon Trotsky, and Vladimir Ilyich Lenin must be goose-stepping in their graves.

The Wall Street capitalist system has finally flushed itself down the country club toilet. The US of A has become a socialist state. Having raided the US taxpayer's piggy bank, the federal government is busy nationalising, in good old Soviet tradition, all major banks, insurance companies, and soon, the rusty automobile corporations.

The Department of Homeland Security has commissioned Salvador Dali to re-design the US flag, replacing stars with hammers and sickles.

Dmitry Medvedev and George W. Bush are urgently working on a Merrill Lynch- Bank of America type deal, effectively sovietizing their two nations. As Mr. Bush said, "Makes sense. There's a whole mess of oil in them thar ah, ah,um, ah, steppes."

Dick Cheney, in a conference call with the Wall Street Journal, and Pravda, stated, "The culture mix is excellent. They had their Gulags in Siberia, we have Guantamano. They promoted cadres who mis-managed state farms, and caused famine and widespread misery, we bail out incompetant CEOs who put thousands out of work and foreclose homes, causing widespread misery."

John McCain is rumored to be on the point of of dumping Sarah Palin in favor of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Barack Obama is learning Russian, plans to run for Congressman of Moscow's South Side.

The presidential election is off, which it has been from the start. Under the new socialist regime, Bush will step down as President, become CEO of AIG. Condoleezza Rice will become President. She and Bush will exchange positions every four years, Putin- Medvedev style.

Ms. Rice will thus kill two hammers with one sickle. First African American President, first woman President.

Wall Street, the Detroit auto makers, Las Vegas and Steven Speilberg will become state-owned gulags. All lobbyists, and ex-CEOs of Merrill Lynch, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Countrywide, Bear Stearns, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae will be awarded the Hero of the Soviet Union of Amerika Medal, with Dachas on the Black Sea or Galveston Island, and grossly under-maintained Tupolev TU-154s for their personal use. Enron senior managers at present serving prison terms will be released to be awarded the same medals.

Nancy Pelosi, Lou Dobbs and Michael Moore will be incarcerated forthwith in Guantanamo.

Free speech in the United States will be not be banned, because it already is.

Alaska will be given back to Russia, so that its residents will be able to declare on prime time, "I can see the USA from my house!"

There will be a mass emigration of American citizens to Zimbabwe, where spiraling gas prices are not a problem, because there is no gas.


Related Tags: bush, cheney, obama, mccain, putin, palin

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