Key Stages in a Relationship - Stage 2A
According to research done on this phase, it is not only your heart which is full of love but your whole body too, which is flooded with an endorphin called PEA (phenoethalymine). Like most endorphins, PEA increases energy, optimism, feelings of well-being and a positive outlook, and also diminishes pain. It increases sexual desire and allows you to skip meals and sleep. Naturally, as those good feelings coincide with the new relationship, you instantly believe that it is all down to this other person. They make you feel that way and bring out the best in you. In some ways you are loving 'under the influence' in a stage marked by great dependency upon each other. Though many people like this floating stage of love and getting that 'Wow" factor, many others do not feel comfortable with it because they believe they lose their control and depend too much on another person to feel good.
This second part of the honeymoon phase marks the transition from single status to a married one or being fully committed to a relationship. And it is a dramatic transition. It is full of romance, lots of it. Being 'in love' means that the sexual attraction and desire is often so intense, you literally become besotted! You might find yourself ringing, visiting or dreaming of your loved one, any time of day or night. You dominate her attention, constantly seeking her approval or affirmation. You are very optimistic about the future with him and nothing can go wrong, or so it seems. Most plans for a life together are made at this stage while the future looks rosy. The difficulties are usually minimised while the possibilities tend to be exaggerated.
You have found the perfect person and, even when you are irritated, the fun is more in the passion of making up than in the argument or discord. Regardless of what other people think about your partner, or might warn you about the transience of your feelings, there's a tendency to believe that they have no idea what they are talking about; that the experience is unique to you only and this fairy-tale period will go on forever.
The Need for Approval and Belonging
This 'besotment' stage is characterised by strong attraction, emotional excitement and heightened activity due to the apparent 'chemistry' between the two people. The greater the chemistry the higher the level of attraction. This stage is also marked by fantasies, possibilities and future potential making everything appear dreamlike, beautiful, fun and exciting. The main needs being satisfied here are approval and belonging. Your heart beats rapidly any time you see or think about this special person. You are totally absorbed with being in his company, constantly thinking about her actions. When you are together time seems to stand still, or run too fast.
Expectations are vague and diffused as the main purpose is purely sexual: to merge bodies and create another being. The quickest way to do that is to boost your partner's self-approval rating by matching their expectation of you; to be the willing and 'perfect' partner they seek. It was Zsa Zsa Gabor who said, "A man is incomplete until he's married. And then he's finished"! Well, this stage certainly finishes the individual, as compatibility with another is perceived to enhance the partner even further. Some people feel a sense of 'being home' or of being 'complete', feeling 'alive' and finally connected.
Above all, you mould yourself to fit his needs. You may even fake interests or activities he is involved in just to keep this connection. You will make promises you will never keep to impress her, thus raising her expectations, but whose unfulfilment will help to destroy the relationship in the end. There will be tons of text messages, huge phone bills, continuous dates of eating, drinking and making merry just to be together and to savour each other's presence. In effect, you will have lots of strange emotions in a pot-pourri of excitement at all hours of the day, with an intense longing when you think of that person, one who might appear almost superhuman to your perception. That is why we are likely to be blind to their faults at this part of the relationship.
Related Tags: attraction, love, fantasy, passion, approval, potential, beautiful, dependency, belonging, besotted
ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah -http://www.ecademy.com/user/elainesihera and http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- Metal Detector Can Save Lives
Wars and unexpected accidents have been one of the many issues that have been unavoidable in the liv - Discover How Pool Float Toys Affect Your Summer Vacation
Hot. This is a perfect description what summer is. It is a feel-good time for families to enjoy a nu - Luxury Watch For Your Loved Ones and Yourself
Whether it's a birthday celebration, anniversary, Christmas or even just an ordinary day receiving g - Why Purchase Swiss Army Watches?
Wearing a wristwatch or having a pocket watch is a very important accessory of a person because it t - Personalized Groomsmen Gifts : Engraved Groomsmen Mugs
Giving something personalized for your groomsmen is a wonderful idea to let your friends feel that t - A Few Helpful Baby Shower Tips
Baby showers are wonderful occasions that usually create lasting memory for both expectant parents a - Discount Groomsmen Gifts That You Can Purchase Online
Weddings are special and memorable occasions that should be planned well, and one of the most vital - How to Wear a Knee Boot
A lot of women today are trying to integrate a knee boot into their fashion style because they are a - Wearing a Knee Boot
A knee boot is definitely something you should be investing on most especially during the cold seaso - Finding Cheap Skis
If you are a fan of various water sports, you are probably one of those people who have been in the
Most viewed articles in this category:
- Capitalism Under Attack: Petrodollars, Petroeuros and the Iranian Oil Bourse
"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous [...]. Havi - One Percenters
Hells Angels Inc is the most successful enterprise of its kind in Canada.In 2000 they moved into Ont - Monogamy: Is She My One and Only?
Copyright © 2007 Susan Adams After decades of matchmaking experience, years of being active in - The Best Of Oprah's Favorite Things
Oprah's annual Favorite Things show has been causing a frenzy with fans for the past six years. But - Researching British Soldiers Who Served in the 1914-18 Great War
At In the footsteps BATTLEFIELD TOURS we occasionally receive enquiries about how to trace the recor - Reefer Madness Replaced by Hydro Hysteria
In the 20's there was Reefer Madness, now we have the 21st century version; Hydro Hysteria. Mari - How Can Society Stop Sexual Predators
Perhaps society holds the lowest regard of all for sex predators, those evil men who prey on that wh - Making Communication Work For Your Relationship
Brooke said to Gary, "In our entire relationship, I've gone above and beyond for you … for us. I co - How To Attract And Seduce Women Using The 'Unmask Method'
When it comes to meeting, attracting and seducing women, most guys don't know where to start. But th - How to Keep Your Man Feeling Lucky and Happy
Your Good Man hopes that you will remain the loving, beautiful, feminine, kind, sexy American Geisha