Current Affairs, US Treasury Issues First Ever Million Dollar Bill
At a press conference today at Carmine's Seafood Restaurant in the Bronx, the Treasury Secretary, Robert Mugabe, formally presented the new US Million Dollar banknote, which will replace the long-worthless one dollar bill. The presidential portrait is that of George W. Bush disguised as Pinocchio. The note is printed on ultra-soft bathroom tissue, not only to symbolize the state of the US economy, but also to encourage multi-tasking.
From the eighteenth hole at Pebble Beach, Republican and Democrat lawmakers issued a bipartisan statement: "Yesterday, this nation of ours was standing on the edge of a black hole. Today, this banknote represents a giant step forward."
Nancy Pelosi expressed regret that the banknote was not transparent and accountable, but that it would reassure the American taxpayer that something or other- whatever- would never happen again until this time next week.
The historic event was somewhat overshadowed by Labor Department figures showing that US employers had axed 129 million jobs last month, representing the highest job loss since the late Triassic period.
Sarah Palin, in turning-the-page mode, twinkled, "Well, all you six-pack Joes may be on the Dole, or should I say, the Obama, but with this purty new banknote, why, you'all's millionaires now, you betcha."
Wal-Mart announced a special on brightly colored handcarts, 3ft. by 4ft, specially designed to hold enough of the new banknotes to buy a pint of milk.
The New York Times announced it would adopt a horizontal format in order to have enough space in which to print the price.
The Dubai developer Nakheel, builder of the famous man-made islands in the shape of a palm tree, visible by satellite, today offered to ease the plight of the US economy by paying $35,90 including handling and postage, for Ms. Palin's Bridge To Nowhere, not even visible on Google. They plan to present it to Osama bin Laden on his birthday.
In other news, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill into law ordering the State of California to cast off, and to set sail for Japan.
Related Tags: california, financial crisis, sarah palin
Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Humor Articles - What Me A Redneck?
Every few years I get to wondering why making fun of Southerners is such an enduring and successful - Newsflash - Volcano Causes Cow Flatulence-Part 1
A source tells me that the Icelandic volcano eruption that has been spewing ash and inconvenience al - How To Buy And Receive Doctor's Excuse Notes
Getting doctor's excuse notes for your needs is very easy to do. You can get notes to work for you i - Editing Fake Doctor Slips Can Be Easy To Do
Not just any type of fake doctors note will do when it comes to getting something submitted to someo - Common Reasons Why A Fake Doctors Note Could Be Used
Sometimes life can be too difficult for anyone to handle. After all, there is only so much time in o - Current Affairs Articles - 2012 World End - Skeptic Has a Change Of Heart
It sounds like something out of a Hollywood movie: On a certain day in a certain year at a certain t - Dr. Facilier From the Princess and the Frog Answers: How Spells Are Made
Yet another day, I drift off again thinking about the movie that I have fallen in love with - Disney - Fitness Articles - Beauty salon Weston
Moda Hair Design and Spa located in Davie, FL, USA - Salon and Spa, specialize in Hair Color, Highli - Family & Parenting Articles - Several Funny Ways To Save Money
The following funny ways to save money are meant to be just that: funny. They are collected from blo - Twelve Days of Trying to Christmas Shop
On the first try at Christmas shopping, my true love said to me, "Let's go shopping at the mall."On
Most viewed articles in this category:
- In Your Office, How Many Bosses are Too Many?
So, once I was asked to design stationary for a company that had the misfortune of hiring a smart as - The Hidden Diary of Bin Laden and God
Bin Laden died, and God stood in front of him, he said,"Allah, the most High," and Bin said, "Sir, i - Do Dead People Really Talk?
I was talking to my dear Mother the other day and she was telling me how grand the famed psychic, co - Trivia Questions And Answers From A Trivia Break
Questions: 1. What is the primary language of most residents of Montreal? A. English B. French C. C - Google Salutes Chick-fil-A Cows
The Search Engine Giant, known for decorating its Google moniker with appropriately festive gear on - Black Friday
Another Thanksgiving meal devoured and here I sit with a back that is thrown out. I would love to b - Extensive New Study Fits Americans Like A Tee
Remember when your mother always reminded you to put on a clean pair of underwear just in case?Resea - U. S. May Become Nonaligned Nation; Cites Worldwide Ingratitude
In case you haven't heard, there is a brash new movement afoot to make America a nonaligned nation. - Everything I Know I Learned From Magazines
Hello friends. Do you ever wonder why there is never enough time or money to do the things you know - 15 Exciting and Crazy Things To Do After You Quit Smoking
Are you a smoker who spends at least $ 3.50 for a pack every day or $1,277.50 a year?
