Dear Diary,
I have ambition. I have drive. My entire life - from when I was a wee pop-up trying to gain everyone's attention to the grown-up full-fledged, content rich homepage that I am - I have always wanted to be the best. Get the best visitors. Shout out the best content. Have the newest, most innovative design around. My goal has always been to be the best.
So I wake up extra early in the morning - earlier than some of those other sites, whom we wont mention - spiff myself up quite a bit, and head into work. I am always ready for the day to come. I put on my best content, shine up my title tag and even do a little dance for Google every once in a while to let her know I'm worthy of being on top of the List.

Dear Diary,
Something is going on. I'm not being seen as much as I think I should. Maybe Google is upset with me lately. I mean, I did sort of break her heart a couple months ago, but that is a really long story and I'd rather not get into it at the moment. Or maybe somehow my site isn't being promoted enough. Because lately there haven't been any good visitors! Do I have bad keywords? Do I live in a bad neighborhood? Did some Yahoo spread around bad rumors about me? Who knows! All I know is, I have not been getting the attention I deserve. And that really aggravates me to my metadata. Come on you guys! I am a great site! And you don't even seem to care. Well, if I can't get your attention in a good way, here is a warning on how I am going to get your attention MY way!

Dear Diary,
You know that horrible feeling when your alarm goes off in the morning, and you just want to go back to bed, and you will do anything to make sure that happens? You hit the snooze button for five more minutes of bliss and you consider calling in sick to work? Yeah, that is how I have felt every day lately. Not wanting to do any work, not caring if I get up out of my server in the morning. You know what I'm going to do to get some attention? CRASH! Haha, that's what you get for ignoring me.

Dear Diary,
Today the wordsmith in me came out. When no one is paying attention to me, I like to incorporate some poor grammar into my content. So I'll go through the work a diligent copywriter spent hours optimizing and I get rid of the keywords altogether and just insert the word "stuff" or "things". That is always a good time. Then no one knows what you are offering, and my ex-friend Google won't be poking around my site so much, trying to see how what I'm offering. Next week - random typos!
These days, I don't like having to run too many applications. And I definitely don't like having visitors staying around and bothering me all afternoon. You know those fun interactive bits that are on some websites? Yeah, not on mine anymore! No more visitor polls, no more exciting flash videos, no more "leave your comment here" forms. And while I'm at it, why not get rid of the color and formatting as well? This way, I use less of my very valuable energy to be "flashy" and "exciting" for visitors, and they take one look at my site, see its boring black-and-white format, and leave. I love it!

Dear Diary,
Remember when I said I haven't been getting any "good" visitors? Well, that is correct. I mean, I have had some visitors, but they are of the rival gang. The kids-from-the-other-side-of-the-tracks, if you know what I mean. The Spammers! So what's a guy to do? He's starved of attention and boom, here comes someone so fantastic, so tempting, so nice-looking. And I just let him right in. But hey, negative attention is still attention right? And I might be a little insecure at times, so I just let Mr. Spam hang around. At least it's company.
This is the life for me these days. My ambition and drive have gone out the window. Do you really want your site to get as annoyed as me? I don't think so. That would be bad for your business and your reputation as a website developer.

Dear Diary,
Finally some good news. My owners took notice and I was nominated for a Web Marketing Association WebAward. My Webmaster entered me at www.webaward.org and finally I will earn the recognition I deserve. This award program has been going on for 11 years and all sorts of sites, big and small, have won awards. When I'm an "award-winning website", visitors will know they are visiting the best. Even Google may take notice.
I'm working hard to update all those vengeful things I did while I was being ignored. From now on, I will be on by best behavior in case the WebAward judges are visiting.