During the initial phases of dating and marriage, it seems like nothing can stand in your way. Storm clouds on the horizon?  Who cares? It's you and your significant other against the world with both of you winning by a comfortable margin.

But as good as it gets, it can be a tough job trying to sustain it on a permanent basis. Life has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into the equation. Suddenly every molehill turns into Mount Kilimanjaro. Everything becomes a drain on your relationship.

And then there are the internal factors. For instance in the early days, you overlooked some of your significant other's idiosyncrancies because to you it was all part of their quirky charm. Now? Not so much. In fact some of their habits for the past few years have gotten on your last nerve. Have there been arguments about it? Too many to count and by the way they've let you know a time or two that you are not so perfect either.

Maybe the two of you have fallen out of love, become bored with the routine or met someone new. Whatever the reason, the relationship is over.

It's tough medicine but here are a few things you may want to avoid.

1. Extreme Self Examination

It's healthy to sit down and try to figure out what went wrong. Is there anything you could have said and done that would have yielded a more positive result? Of course, no one is perfect. But there comes a time when you have to stop putting yourself under the microscope and move on. It takes two to make or break a relationship so keep that in mind when you are doing some self analysis.

2. Guilt

You know that you need to move on with your life. You know also that you are going to meet someone new and hopefully better. But it is going to be a major chore if you keep blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. That's a form of self sabotage which will have you walking on egg shells the rest of your life if you are not careful. You have to be free to be the person you can be. Assigning all the guilt to you for a relationship that didn't work has a nasty way of finding its way into future relationships.

3. Anger

Okay you are less than happy that the relationship ended. Understandable. However after awhile you do yourself no favors by holding on to that anger. If you want to forcefully purge the environment of all things that remind you of you ex do so. After that take a step back and forgive them as well as yourself.  Letting you rage fester and boil is just asking for trouble.

Breaking up for whatever reason can be a rough deal. The commitment, time, energy and trust that you have invested can easily be wiped out once the two of you call it quits. That's a harsh thing to accept but it is vital that you do accept it.  Hold on to the special times you both had and cherished but let everything else go. Recognize that something wonderful is on the way.