Can't lose weight? Tried absolutely everything, but still frustrated by fat that won't shift or worse, more weight packing onto your tummy, hips and butt despite your best efforts?

Frustrated, fragile and reaching stealthily into the larder for a bit of comforting chocolate? Stop right there. Have the strength to put that calming little treat back where you found it and read this - with an open mind.

With a willingness to accept your mistakes.

Because you can lose weight and keep it off for life. What's more you can be fit and healthy while you are doing it. You have the key; you just haven't worked out how to use it. Stop bashing your head against the wall and find the door!

If you can admit that the buck stops with you, accept responsibility for your diet and exercise mistakes and move on, then you are on the road to success.

These are 5 of the most common diet and exercise mistakes. At the moment you are probably making more than one of them, but don't realize it, or don't have the guts to admit it or don't have the tenacity to get over it. Time to change your attitude.

If you want to lose weight and be fit for your lifetime you have to admit your mistakes and move forward.

Diet and exercise mistake #1
Expect weight loss and fitness results immediately. This afternoon, straight after you've skipped your hamburger and large fries lunch and replaced it with an apple and low fat yogurt that you walked all the way to the deli to pick up yourself. If you don't lose a kilogram or so in the first 3 days, give up. No one can say you didn't try.

Reality
It took a long time to pile on your excess weight. It's going to take a long time and a lot of committed discipline to reverse this. Don't struggle - accept this cold hard fact and get on with losing that unwanted weight. The time will pass and the weight will drop off.

Diet and exercise mistake #2
Embrace a fad diet out of the latest popular magazine. Something endorsed by someone very famous; they wouldn't lie to you. Look, it works for Posh Spice - a diet of lettuce and fresh air will work for you too. And it's so severe you won't have to keep at it for too long.

Reality
Posh Spice, on fairly close inspection, seems to have some surgical aid and personal trainer type involvement to embellish the lettuce and air combination. Her body is part of her business enterprise and she has the money to spend on it. Chances are you are going to have to use your tenacity and dedication rather than your gold plated credit card and impeccable connections in "the industry" to lose weight and keep it off. Stop dreaming; commit yourself to a proven diet and exercise program that you can stick to for life and your erstwhile dream will come true.

Diet and exercise mistake #3
Develop diet and exercise amnesia. When you record your calorie intake and output for the day, underestimate the food you have eaten - both in what you actually ate and in the portion sizes. Skip your exercise today cause you went hard at it yesterday, or was it last Sunday? Never mind you can always exercise more and eat less tomorrow (or eat less and skip the dreaded exercise again).

Reality
Unless you keep a food and exercise diary and record accurate portions and calories, you are lying to yourself about your diet. If you don't make exercise a daily habit, you have sabotaged your weight loss and fitness program before you even really start. Any diet that tells you not to worry about calories, fat and exercise doesn't really seem to be a diet by definition when you take a minute to think about it.

Diet and exercise mistake #4
Lose some weight, feel good about it, maybe even buy some new slimline clothes, then go back to eating what made you fat in the first place. Get your exercise locating the TV remote and shuffling off to the kitchen for sustenance.

Reality
If you don't change what you eat and the way you eat it and your exercise regime or lack of it for the term of your natural life, you will be doomed, doomed I tell you (insert manic laughter here). Look, you don't like being fat and unhealthy. In order to turn this around, you have to be willing and able to make permanent changes to your habits that will be disturbing and difficult at first. Over time, your faithful, long suffering body will reward you for your excellent decisions by performing at a much-improved level, with a much better physical and mental outlook. Your cunning brain will begin to crave good food if you give it the time to get used to the idea. It's up to you to take responsibility for permanent change in your life and wait patiently for the rewards.

Diet and exercise mistake #5
Pay no heed to reality. Try to convince yourself that you are OK at this weight, at this level of (non) fitness. Unflattering photos have been taken from a bad angle. Boutiques are stocking only ungenerous brand sizes, not meant for real people. You medical adviser is over-reacting to your cuddly shape with creepy conversations about type 2 diabetes.

Reality
You can't be Cleopatra (Queen of Denial) forever. Telling yourself you are OK at this weight and that you don't really need a change of diet or exercise is just plain lazy and dodging the issue. You want to lose weight or you would not be reading this. You have to want it enough to be honest with yourself about your current weight and fitness levels and what your goals are.

You have to make a plan for weight loss and exercise and have the determination to stay with it - it is simple. Don't make the mistake of thinking it should be easy. It cannot be easy. Nothing worth doing is easy.

But it is very much worth the effort.