I was running one of my series of workshops on "Fearless Sexuality and Sexual Charisma" when one of the participants asked me if having more sex makes a person sexier?

This sexual myth has been doing the rounds quite a bit lately and I've not yet come across studies and research that conclusively shows that having more sex actually makes people feell sexier.

From my own experience, there was a time when my relationship life was so messed up that I decided I needed time-out to try and figure out why I was running away from serious relationships and commitments. I was so messed up that for 5 years I did not have any sex at all - not even solo-sex.

I noticed I was feeling sexier than I ever felt in my whole life. Given the sex-positive environment I was raised in, "sexier" means I was oozing it from every pore of my skin in large amounts. I did not have to say or do anything - all I had to do was walk into a room and cause chaos. Married women would grab their husbands by the arm and single guys literally begged for me to say their names out aloud. Even women were hitting on me left and right. One time I went to a friend's house and his dog was all over me, he said he'd never seen his dog that "excited". The dog had to put in its kennel.

I told my ritual mother what was happening and she told me that although I wasn't having sex with another human being, I was "making love to the whole universe." I was in a state where I was sexy because I was flowing with what nature intended for me to be - a full sexual being.

Until I have full proof that "having sex" actually makes you feel sexier - well documented research with facts, not the one which asks people who've just had sex if they feel sexier after bonking each other silly - I believe that "knowing" that you can have sex with just about anyone you chose, when you want and how you want it actually makes you feel sexier. Knowing you have that much "power" and "control" over your sexual life makes you feel as sexy as sexy can be.

Though I'd rather have sex (with my guy) than eat food, I also believe that feeling sexy has nothing to do with things we do to get into the "mood of sex" or cause others to be in that mood. Being sexy is who you are whether you are engaged in a sexual activity or not. It's something that is completely unconscious, natural and effortless. And it's not something you can switch on and off (be sexy this time and in this place, and not be sexy another time in another place).

As someone coming from a whole different culture I see that here in North America, there is so much struggle with sexual expression (acting sexy, looking sexy, talking sexy, walking sexy, wearing this or that to feel sexy etc) and so much self doubt and plain old feeling "dirty" and guilty. Most people are pre-occupied with "doing" rather than "just-being". Even people who say they teach others to just "live in the moment" end up prescribing things for people to "do" in order to just live in the moment. Very few of them actually know what "just being" really means.

Having more sex in order to feel sexier is just another "doing" instead of "being." When you are operating from your fullness as a sexual person sexy is WHO you are - AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO BE.

When you play with life or make love to the universe, you release your sexual energy and let it work for you instead of you struggling to do what sexual energy can do best - effortlessly and naturally. But much more than that, its non-stop ecstasy. You wake up every day looking forward to living it to it's fullest! That energy is sexier than anything you'll ever say or do!

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.

Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com