On the whole, men have it easier in the earlier years: socially, sexually and economically. It is their world and they usually enjoy it. Not so for the later years. By the time both genders are in the 40s-50s age range, the roles are almost reversed. Various studies have confirmed that, though our personality is generally stable throughout adulthood, there are distinct differences between women and men as they get older.

Men tend to show some decline in power, aggression and need for achievement while women may actually increase in the need for attainment and assertiveness (especially after the children leave home, or if they are feeling trapped or frustrated with their lot). A combination of the ageing process, successful childbearing and homemaking markedly increases the woman's confidence. She is the one who gradually looks outward in a bolder manner, happier inside her own skin, while the man becomes more introspective and fearful. He is likely to question his overall achievement, especially if he believes he has not yet reached the right staging post along his personal journey (like being wealthy, or earning the right status he yearned for) which only reinforces feelings of encroaching unworthiness and inadequacy.

However, for most women this is a liberating time without young children to worry about; a time when they can focus on their own needs instead of just the family's, and so they tend to peak in sexual prowess in their forties and early fifties. At the same time, many men gradually lose their self-esteem and become increasingly conscious of their advancing years and sense of impotence in the face of their partner's evolution. In fact, a lot of men become impotent at this stage, especially over 50. Feeling more vulnerable as they get older, men soon realise that they will be replaced by someone younger at work, or even at home, who is already snapping at their heels. This awareness is often unsettling and drives many of them to prove they are still 'young', still talented and still able to 'pull' women by reverting to fashion, outlook and activities which reflect a younger attitude.

Frustration and Resentment
Self analysis and review in their mid-forties (mid-life crisis) inevitably change men's behaviour and level of confidence; being a time of frustration and resentment in the relationship, particularly if the female partner is more settled and successful. Frustration can also be heightened by a feeling of not having the right kind of partner to enhance the man's aspirations at this troubling time, especially if the spouse has remained slow in intellect or got worse in looks! However, while some women do lose confidence in their late forties and early fifties, as they assess how to progress from their downgraded domestic state, most women gradually lose their vulnerability during this time. They feel far more prepared to extend their horizons outside the home through self-development and perhaps a new career. They tend to worry about their looks, particularly how attractive they still are, but are likely to see this time as a new opportunity to shine and a window onto a new world.

That is one of the reasons why, according to National Statistics, just over 70 per cent of all divorces in the UK in the last few years have been brought by women, especially older ones, whose own evolution has altered their perception of themselves and their worth. Such women are no longer prepared to put up with the quality of life they might have accepted when they were younger, being in the background and undervalued. As they get older they tend to become less patient and more adversarial in the face of any grievance, betrayal or discomfort.

Unfortunately for men, things get much worse, particularly immediately after retirement. Lacking the status, position and sense of power they had while they were working, many find the sudden loss of worth and increasing female confidence very hard to deal with, and either go into depression or retreat into themselves. It is such a huge blow to their self-esteem and identity, often they decide to exit instead, so that the highest suicide rate in the UK is among men of 65 years old. This has helped to create a social imbalance of almost two women to every man after that age.