Atypical Depression - My Own Experience


by Tracy Crowe - Date: 2007-04-25 - Word Count: 735 Share This!

We have all heard the standard definition for depression. A depressed person is supposed to be often unable to perform daily activities because they don't feel like getting out of bed. They are supposed to have at least 5 of the following symptoms: They are supposed to feel sad and have a loss of interest or pleasure in the activities they used to enjoy. They are supposed to have significant weight changes and either an inability to sleep or excessive sleep. They are supposed to be fatigued, agitated or irritated, and to feel worthless or excessively quilty. They may even think about suicide.

I looked at this list of symptoms and said "This isn't me. I enjoy fun actvities as much as anyone else, although I don't get to do them often enough. I don't feel particularly sad or worthless and I certainly don't think about suicide. I haven't noticed any unusual change in my weight or sleep patterns. So why do I feel so lousy?" I was diagnosed about 10 years ago with moderate to severe depression. I know now that not everyone who is depressed fits that "typical" description.

I have learned that ADD and depression are similar in a lot of ways. I actually could identify with the description of adult ADD more than that of depression. Far from not having the energy to get out of bed, I wanted to do a great many things all at once, and tended to panic if I hadn't accomplished something after half an hour. I got very upset in even minor traffic jams. I took pride in getting things done well, and enjoyed even little things, like a breeze on a summer day or a beautiful sunset.

I think I hadn't noticed a change in my weight or sleeping because once I had been depressed for several years my mind tricked me into believing that my mood, activity levels, and weight were normal; that this is the way I was supposed to be. I was amazed at how long it took me to even realize that something was wrong with me, that it wasn't normal and I didn't have to feel the way I did. It took me decades, not years.

So what have I done to help myself? After trying a few antidepressants I found I just didn't respond to them, and I don't like taking drugs anyway. I think psychotherapy can be very helpful if you find the right person, the one who you like and trust, and who asks you the right questions. Unfortunately it can be very expensive while you search for the right person.

I have read that depression is basically about one thing: lack of control. A person who feels like they have control over their lives and their surroundings is not depressed. I believe it is important to ask yourself what you feel you have no control over and why you feel like that. Then you can figure out how to regain control. No matter how hopeless things seem, there is always something you can do, and with some self searching you will find it.

The most important thing is to take action now, even if you don't have all the information you need or it seems to be a bad time. Do something, anything, even if it seems to be a trivial thing. That actually is the fastest way to be successful at something so that you start to feel in control; that you can make a difference in the world. So many people wait until everything seems to be "right" and end up waiting forever to take control over some aspect of their lives. I know I did that, because I was afraid that if I made a mistake then it would be the end of the world. I now am realizing that bad results are only feedback to tell you that you need to try something else.

It is important to acquire new and more empowering beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of. You need to create new experiences that are more positive and empowering than the ones you are used to, and the only way to do that is to act now and to do something different than what you used to do. Do whatever you can do to regain your sense of control and mastery over your life. That is the key, I believe, to curing depression.


Related Tags: depression, self-help

Tracy Crowe has been depressed most of her life. She knows how difficult it can be to cure it. For more information about depression, visit http://yourdepressioninfo.com

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