John McCain. He's become such a loveable media celebrity - although probably not in the way he likes. What I find funny is that he's the master of excuses.

Even when all eyes are on him, he manages a little switcharoo - looks under the table, pulls a card out of his sleeve, and goes with whatever's written on it. Even if its not on-topic, or, at times, even if it contradicts whatever he's said or done before.

If you were ever in a tough spot, you could pull a McCain, and do it too! Here's how:

5. "What (insert-name-here) doesn't seem to understand…" - When faced with a counterargument, use this excuse and say something that is seemingly related, while throwing other factoids along the way. (As seen in the first Presidential debate!) For example, your brother accuses you of inciting a fight at school, you could always say, "What my brother doesn't seem to understand is that I was fighting for your honor. Plus, I think they were terrorists."

4. "My friends…" - You know those Hawaiian words that carry multiple meanings? McCain uses the line "My friends" to refer to an opponent, or just his friends. Use this when you're trying to rally your other enemies to gang up on your greatest enemy. (Who is also, "your friend.") Use this when ratting out your officemates to the boss. "My friends were trying to have long lunch today, but didn't invite both you and I, I think we should penalize them, my friend."

3. "Terrorist / UnAmerican / That One" - When trying to insinuate that you didn't do something while also, pointing out someone else's actions. "Your computer's broken? You know who else used it? You might never know. That one. You know who didn't break it? Me."

2. "Financial crisis." - When you're trying to skip out important matters (like, say, a debate) while trying to make your opponent's enthusiasm into something selfish. Like, say, you were to host the party - you say, "my friends, I'd have to skip out on doing that. We're undergoing a financial crisis, and it seems like all of my friends' concerns are on having money-spending/wasting fun."

1. "I'm a P.O.W." - This appears to be McCain's favorite card in his excuse rolodex. This has appeared more number of times, the funny thing is, out of all those times he DID mention the POW thing, he was never asked directly about it. You have seven-eleven-thirteen houses? "I'm a P.O.W." You're for continuing the war? "I'm a P.O.W." Sarah Palin? "I'm a P.O.W." When asked why I wasn't doing any more work for the day? "I'm a P.O.W. in detention when the teacher was making that study plan."

There you have it - 5 of McCain's top 5 favorite excuses. Here's to the rest of the following weeks before 11/4, writing down more excuses that he comes up with.

A little caution though, if you *do* watch news in any way, shape or form, you'd know that any of these excuses could backfire!