"Treat others as you would like to be treated," that's the golden rule. Well, the golden rule of sales isn't far from it.

Too many salespeople today try to sell by adopting a sales approach that is not truly theirs. They try to mimic someone else's style or mechanically follow a step-by-step process. They manipulate themselves into a personality chameleon, changing with every environment and every customer, acting how they think the customer wants them to act, saying what they think the customer wants them to say.

What these salespeople forget is that selling to a customer is not like hooking up a DVD player or pitching a tent. You can't follow instructions automatically and expect the sale to close as you'd like it to. Real sales are about real people. The customers you serve have their own experiences, thoughts and feelings. Do not simplify your customers by assuming you know exactly what they want to hear or experience in a sale.

True selling comes by understanding who you are as a salesperson and, more importantly, as a customer. The golden rule of selling is not "Sell to others as you think they want to be sold." It's, "Sell to others as you would like to be sold." By discovering how you like to be sold and why, you will unlock a natural and successful style of selling.

As a customer, do you prefer simple explanations or do you find comfort in knowing all the details? Do you prefer to do business with a handshake or do you like having everything in writing? There are no wrong answers, only greater insight into how you like to be sold.

Now maybe you're wondering, "What about the customer? What about what they want?" Customers want to do business with someone they can trust, someone they can relate to, someone who understands their need and has a true desire to help them. They can spot an insincere salesperson just playing the part as soon as they see one. By being yourself and selling how you would like to be sold, you create a genuine approach to truly connect with your customer.

Making sales is all about connecting. For a sale to happen, there must be a palpable connection between two things: a clear message and a clear need. As a salesperson, you only have control over one of these things. If the prospect does not have a need for your services or product, there is nothing you can do it about it. You cannot convince someone to buy or shove a sale down their throat. You can only do your part well and wait for the need to be there.

The only way to have a clear message is by making it genuine and passionate. That means believing in yourself, believing in your product and believing you and your product have the ability to really help your customer. Being genuine and passionate cannot be faked or taught; it can only be revealed.

A truly clear message should not only be heard, but also felt. It should be real and alive. A message that is understood by your on a personal and emotional level will always be more powerful than any taught or scripted sales pitch.

Discovering how you like to be sold puts you in the minds of the customer you know best - yourself. It helps you create a sales style that is based on the solid foundation of your beliefs and values. Selling this way gives you the comfort and confidence to be successful at a selling career you enjoy. People who sell according to their own values are happy, successful, and sleep much better at night. For them, selling isn't just a job, it is their passion. When you sell the way you want to be sold, you can sell the way you want to sell.